Wingnut Republican Representative from Louisiana John Fleming was soooooo busy bitching about feeding his apparently very hungry family on his slave wage of $6.3 million a year that he completely missed the not exactly subtle point that The Onion is a satirical publication, meaning it is a joke, not real, is fake, and is meant [...]
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While the big, bad gubmint pokes its no-good, grubby paws all over good, decent, hardworking American’s constitutional right to get fleeced by insurance companies while battling cancer, freedom ‘n Jesus-loving legislators in America’s heartland are working overtime to make sure their citizens are protected from the Socialist threat of Uncle Sam, and finding their own [...] Ah, Republicans. The kind of wonderful, caring, Constitution-loving individuals who know that when life hands you lemons, say, by getting incestuously raped and impregnated by your drunkard father, Jesus wants you to make lemon meringue pie in the form of Sharron Angle’s special, secret homemade recipe for coping with unspeakable tragedy (psst: it’s called insanity!). But [...] Fearless defender of a pure white America free from gross brown people, and a woman’s right to cede control of her own reproductive organs to the evil, federal government, $arah Palin is on a one-woman mission from God. A divinely-inspired mission which includes a variety of personal incentives for the ‘Cuda, like seven-figure paydays, several doctored [...] Hey America, it’s me, Bristol coming to you live (and most certainly edited) to give you, the public, a very important public service announcement about what happens when you, the bored daughter of Alaskan royalty, decide to get drunk and make maverick (aka no jimmy hat) sexytime with hotty boy toy Levi Johnston in the [...] Democratic hell Representative and fearless defender of unborn fetuses in fertile wombs across America, Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) is suddenly feeling even smaller than the li’l bundles of prenatal joy he tries his very hardest to protect. After playing a starring role in aborting the Democrats’ health care bill over federal funding of the societal cancer [...] OMG, did you hear the news? The once-in-a-century reason to visit Arkansas (not flee in a panic) has finally arrived. And then, like a ghost in the night, it was gone. Poof! In case you missed THE political death match for the ages–Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele squaring off against former Tennessee Rep. and current [...] Oh, nothing unusual. Just your average Republican Rep. from Kansas (where else?) Todd Tiahrt ranting against Obama’s health care plan with the airtight argument that if health care covered abortions, Obama’s mom might have aborted him. Luckily, Todd understands what Obama and the rest of those socialist Democrats don’t–that low-income mothers of African-Americans, like President Barack [...] Why Should South Dakota Have All The Fun? North Dakota, the shining star of progress and enlightenment in America, just passed a law effectively banning abortion in the state. In a 51-41 vote on Wednesday, North Dakota’s House of Representatives passed a bill that gives a fertilized egg all the same rights as a person, meaning a [...] Since the world is not violent and disturbing enough, the wizards over at Japanese gaming company Illusionsoft thought a nice, simple rape game might help spice up the market. Give the kids a good time! I mean there’s only so many cars to jack, prostitutes to beat, and cops to kill before even that gets [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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