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Supreme Court Gives ObamaCare Life While Wingnuts Mourn America's Death & Threaten To Bring Their Idiocy To Canada

America? Are you still there? Or have your majestic, blue bald eagle tears turned COMMIE RED, and your beautiful, once gold-paved streets turned into the bleak, dusty ruble-lined hellscape of SOVIET RUSSIA, now that the Supreme Court has done the unthinkable and upheld Obama’s communist socialist maoist Kenyan anti-colonial health care plan to bring America up to the standards of EVERY OTHER country in the industrialized world?

Oh the humanity!

Because, nothing, I say nothing, could be worse than affordable health care for every man, woman, and no-good, freeloading child. It’s like the Holocaust, 9/11, the Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and Black Plague all rolled into one apocalyptic (albeit constitutional) Supreme strike of the gavel. NO EXAGGERATION!

Because everyone knows the only government mandate Republicans support is the kind that’s long, rod shaped, and forcibly inserted into a woman’s vagina whether li’l Miss Loosey Goosey likes it or not.

Of course, some freedom-loving, Socialist-hating ‘mericans know the only way to escape the scourge of socialized medicine that is private insurance companies continuing to hold the nation’s health care system hostage, is by moving to the even more terrible Socialist gay-and-medical free-for-all, Canada.

Best of luck, eh?

Good thing those despondent over America’s demise found other ways to deal with the High Court’s Supremely surprising, non-psychotic, affirmation of ObamaCare.

Because even better than the great #OBAMACARE FREAKOUT on Twitter is making excuses. Like the real reason their once-reliably radical, now suddenly TURNCOAT, blue-eyed byproduct of George W. Bush, Chief Justice John Roberts went temporarily sane, and decided to allow America to have a health care system that at least has a semblance of decency.

Oh right, he forgot to take his “crazy” pills! The epilepsy did it! Just ask radio host and certified wingnut excuse-maker Michael Savage.

Let’s talk about Roberts. I’m going to tell you something that you’re not going to hear anywhere else, that you must pay attention to. It’s well known that Roberts, unfortunately for him, has suffered from epileptic seizures. Therefore he has been on medication. Therefore neurologists will tell you that medication used for seizure disorders, such as epilepsy, can introduce mental slowing, forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. And if you look at Roberts’ writings you can see the cognitive dissociation in what he is saying.

Even Drudge agrees. He too is terribly concerned about the state of John Roberts’ health, and how it is making him so horribly stupid. If only there were some kind of program that could help him get the kind of medical care he deserves.

Aw, f*ck it! Never mind, they’d rather burn in Health!

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