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Sen. Stevens Fall From Grace Pins Dems Hopes On Diaper Wearing Comedian Named Al

Aw, Shucks!

Alaska voters have finally given the boot to senatorial fossil Ted Stevens and instead elected the first Democrat to represent Alaska in Congress in nearly three decades.

After a grueling two-week-long process of counting nearly 90,000 absentee and early votes from across Alaska, Democratic Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich was finally able to unseat one of the giants in the U.S. Senate and claim victory by a 3,724-vote margin for basically being the only candidate who is not also a convicted felon.

Congratulations! We are so very proud.

But better yet, is that Stevens’ ouster gives Democrats 58 seats in the Senate, edging them ever closer to the holy grail of 60–the number necessary for a filibuster-proof majority.

So, what fine candidates have the Democrats pinned their hopes and dreams of sweet partisan revenge after years of GOP manhandling and domination?

Georgia:
Basically, the Democrats need some blah blah white dude from Georgia named James Francis “Jim” Martin to defeat another boring southern white dude with a weird name, Republican incumbent Saxby Chambliss.

Saxby? Really? What does that even mean? I don’t think that’s a real word. In any case, neither are interesting enough to deserve a picture.

Minnesota:
Apparently, the unofficial motto of the state is: “Minnesota, We’re Weirder Than You Think!”

Yes, the same state that gave us Jesse “The Body” Ventura for Governor now brings us another wild showdown for its senate seat.

Democrat and former SNL comedian Al Franken is creeping ever closer to unseating dirty hippie turned uptight Republican Norm Coleman whose marginal lead prompted an automatic recount to be completed by Dec. 5–if all goes well.

Normally, I wouldn’t feel too comfortable resting the Democrats’ hope on a man in bunny ears and diapers, but when you compare him to the rest of the colorful cast of characters in Minnesota’s recent political history, I gotta say I’m feeling pretty good about the Dems chances right about now.

Former SNL Star Al Franken: The Dems Great White Hope!

Young, Freewheelin’ Sen. Norm Coleman Before Seeing The GOP Light
Proud Former Gov. Jesse “The Body” Ventura In All His Pink Boa Glory

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