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Republicans Call Secret Meeting To Get Michael Steele To Stop Acting "All Kanye"


Off-the-hook hip-hop RNC Chairman Michael Steele is trying very hard to do his job by humiliating himself and his party in every conceivable way, but some people just won’t let the man be. For reals, yo!

Like the orange boner in charge of House Republicans, Minority Leader John Boehner, who called an emergency closed-door Republican meeting to discuss what exactly to do about the loose-lipped freedom-fighter from the ‘streets’ they’ve regretted ever since deciding to drop the whole Klansman act, and grudgingly elect the first (and last) black chairman of the Republican National Committee.

But since the GOP is now stuck with a dark-hued menace of their own, the pertinent question becomes what the hell to do about it?

The most popular solution to the Michael Steele Experiment appears to be prohibiting the man from saying anything ever about policy matters of any kind since every time he opens his mouth, it is akin to dropping the A-bomb on Hiroshima if Hiroshima was made up of middle-aged white men with no ideas to call their own, except bringing down a certain charming Democratic president named Barry.

But how do you tell the man you personally brought to the party to get the hell out of your house before he burns the whole place down?

Apparently, you call a really awkward, super-secret Republican meeting to beg your idiot Chairman to please stop involving himself in policy in any capacity. Or at the very least stop saying mind-blowingly stupid things like “the American Medical Association doesn’t have credibility on healthcare reform” in a lame attempt to downplay the significance of throngs of doctors and medical experts in the AMA (who traditionally align with the Republicans in opposing major reform) showing up at the White House on Monday in support of NObama’s terrible health care plan. The nerve of those backstabbing white coats with their MDs and PhDs thinking they know anything about health and medicine!

But by all accounts the meeting went well! So well in fact that no one would say anything other than “Closed-door meetings are closed-door meetings.”

Luckily, someone leaked Michael’s brilliant response to the GOP smack-down explaining how his “upbringing in the ‘streets’ made him a fighter and that he was determined to continue fighting and aggressively defending the party.”

When pressed by reporters whether the conversation was heated, Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee would only say, “It was a good discussion. Both of us are grown-ups and are experienced in politics, and I don’t think either one of us has thought very much about it.”

How very Republican of them!

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