When you think of crazed, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriffs, normally the first thing that comes to mind is a crazed, gay, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriff who hates his own hideous homo self even more than the terrible Mexicans he’s always shrieking about, that he actually tries to deport his gay Mexican lover for the terrible crime of being, well, umm, his gay Mexican lover.
It may sound like a page out of some trashy queer pulp novel about cowboys who like other cowboys, but turns out it’s the true, real life story of Mexican deportin’ Republican Pinal County Sheriff by the name of Paul Babeu with an unquenchable (albeit inconvenient) thirst for the semen of illegal Mexican men.
Which, for a self-hating homosexual in the parched, whites-only hellscape that is Aryanzona, can be quite a doozy!
According to the Phoenix New-Times:
Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu — who became the face of Arizona border security nationally after he started stridently opposing illegal immigration — threatened his Mexican ex-lover with deportation when the man refused to promise never to disclose their years-long relationship, the former boyfriend and his lawyer tell New Times.
The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney, who’s also running the sheriff’s campaign for Congress in District 4, the ex-lover says.
“Jose” says he met Babeu in October 2006 on gay.com, a dating website. What started with an online invitation from Babeu for the two to get together, he says, turned into not only a personal relationship but a professional one.
Jose says he created and maintained Babeu’s campaign websites, his Facebook page, and his Twitter account. Babeu didn’t pay him for his online services, he claims.
Or at least not in actual currency. Sadly, semen is not yet legal tender in the United States (or Mexico!) but hopefully Santorum will change that.
Despite the steamy allegations, Babeu has naturally decided to continue running for Congress because that’s what publicly humiliated, painfully hypocritical, self-loathing, cock loving Republican political hopefuls do. Hell, it’s pretty much part of the GOP oath at this point!
Besides, he’s obviously very tough on illegal immigration, particularly when it comes to the actual Mexican men he is sodomizing. We can only assume he is the one doing the sodomizing, since as a Republican sheriff in Arizona, his whole existence is to prevent penetration.
But there’s something awfully familiar about this bigoted gay Republican, beyond the usual comically tragic tale of secrets, lies, and self-destructing as Mitt Romney’s current campaign chairman in Arizona.
Oh right, he’s the same misshaped skull, Mr. Clean look-a-like who starred in John McCain’s enlightened 2008 campaign video, “Complete The Danged Fence!”
And what a fence it is! Serving the dual purpose of keeping the gross Mexicans out while at the same time keeping his inner demons in.
America’s first border fence, in all its radiant glory(holes)! Finally, the kind of protection even Republicans can get behind!