Pop quiz. What do you do when you’re a pathetic, pandering, flailing Republican presidential candidate (a man can dream, can’t he?) who in a rare fit of rational thought and courage joined the dark side and appeared in a video with commie leader Nancy Pelosi to urge the country to address the evil liberal lie known as climate change?
Kill yourself? (Please say yes, please say yes!) Reinvent reality to reflect the Grand Old Party’s shift from sort-of crazy-but-still-believe-in-science to full-out-Michele-Bachmann-esque-batshit-crazy-who-believe-that-the-unprecedented-levels-of-violent-storms-hurricanes-droughts-famines-tornadoes-wildfires-isn’t-from-man’s-increased-industrialization-but-because-God-hates-the-homos?
Blame it on the ol’ reliable standby, everyone’s favorite vast left wing conspirator, the elitist, arugula-eating, no-good, Jew run media?
Oooh, oooh, I’ve got it! Pull some God-awful, lame-as-your-ridiculous presidential-campaign excuse out of your ass, and hope the voting public are as dumb as you think they are?
Precisely!
Here’s Newt’s response when asked about the 2008 ad for Al Gore’s “We Can Solve It” campaign during an appearance on WGIR radio in New Hampshire:
I was trying to make a point that we shouldn’t be afraid to debate the left, even on the environment, but obviously it was misconstrued, and it’s probably one of those things I wouldn’t do again.
Well duh!
Back in 2008 when he filmed this little badboy, it was still cool for Republicans to talk candidly about climate change and the environment.
Before abolishing the Environment Protection Agency and destroying Earth became a central issue of his “campaign,” or sitting on a couch with Nancy Pelosi talking about trees and shit became the political equivalent of, say, coming out of the closet at a press conference and banging everyone of the same gender in the room with the cameras rolling.
Besides, what the hell is an “environment” anyway? Some hippie-dippie, feel-good kumbaya hogwash liberals made up to feel good about themselves?
Truth is, Newt doesn’t even believe in climate change. Hell, he doesn’t even believe in climate!
He believes in million dollar credit lines at Tiffany’s for his beautiful, charming, third (soon-to-be-ex) trophy wife Callista.
Unlike this dumb planet (or Newt’s marriages), diamonds are forever.