Oh Mittens! He’s just like you, America, except that he grew up the privileged son of a Governor and went to elitist east coast prep schools followed by elitist east coast Ivy League universities where he met all kinds of powerful people who could help him amass the kind of ungodly wealth that makes car elevators and secret offshore bank accounts in the Cayman Islands not luxuries, but necessities.
But that’s not all! It is also the kind of vast, unimagimable wealth that turns normal(?) human beings into stiff, uncaring robots devoid of emotion, and unable to relate to dumb schlubs like you or me who don’t have net worths between $190–250 million without actually working a single day in years.
This makes Mittens better than you in almost every way, except of course judging what normal people make. Normal people who don’t get filthy rich firing people for a living, that is.
Yeah, he’s not so great at that.
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Is $100,000 middle income?
MITT ROMNEY: No, middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less.
Umm, ok maybe on the magical Mormon planet Kolob $200,000 is considered “middle income.” But here on planet Earth, “middle” is typically NOT defined as the top 5% of earners, which according to the Tax Policy Center, is reserved for those poor saps bringing in more than $180,000. Must be hard!
So remember people, if you’re struggling to quadruple the size of your San Diego beach house, renovate your custom chef’s kitchen, upgrade your luxury SUV, or simply make ends meet on only a paltry $250,000 a year, Mitt Romney shares your pain.
After all, he knows better than anyone today’s cost of living.
A dozen (Fabergé) eggs just ain’t what it used to be!
[image via Wonkette]