Oh no-zees! Looks like the constant spew of homophobic outrage from the strictly heterosexual, not-at-all-suspiciously-anal-sex-obsessed closet cases on the right over Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser has worked its wondrous, sodomite-busting charms.
Apparently, the yelling was so loud about Mittens’ decision to hire a known homosexual to advise him on the GOP’s favorite pastime, the manliest of manly activities, protracted bloody wars, that the homosexual adviser in question Richard Grenell was forced to resign. You know, Mitt has very delicate eardrums!
So with all the forceful determination you’d expect from a man with the backbone of a gelatinous blobfish, Mitt Romney nobly defended his staffer and responded to the uproar by stashing Grenell in the closet and praying the whole thing would just go away. Sort of like poor people.
From the Washington Post:
GRENELL: I have decided to resign from the Romney campaign as the Foreign Policy and National Security Spokesman. While I welcomed the challenge to confront President Obama’s foreign policy failures and weak leadership on the world stage, my ability to speak clearly and forcefully on the issues has been greatly diminished by the hyper-partisan discussion of personal issues that sometimes comes from a presidential campaign.
Sometimes. Like when that presidential campaign is Republican and involves anyone not constantly trolling for the nearest hot tits in a skirt to receive his man seed, like the good Lord intended.
I want to thank Governor Romney for his belief in me and my abilities and his clear message to me that being openly gay was a non-issue for him and his team.
Such a non-issue in fact that no one dare mention his terrible affliction so help them God.
“Officials from the Romney campaign and respected Republicans not on the campaign contacted Ric Grenell over the weekend in an attempt to persuade him not to leave the campaign. Grenell was upset that there was no public statement of support for him by the campaign and no supportive social conservatives were enlisted to calm the waters.”
Where the F is Moses when you need him?
“We are disappointed that Ric decided to resign from the campaign for his own personal reasons,” Romney campaign manager Matt Rhoades said in a statement. “We wanted him to stay because he had superior qualifications for the position he was hired to fill.”
What?? They always thought gay people loved getting bent over and screwed from behind!
[image via Examiner]