So there you have it, America. The moment you’ve been waiting for, the day that Willard “Mitt” Romney finally picked his running mate, the next (non)vice-president of the United States, Rep. Paul Ryan of the great state of Wisconsin.
Hooray!
But just who is this nice young man from down the street who looks like a Boy Scout but votes like a crazy person ever since coming to office in 1999?
Well for one thing, he hates deficits. Almost as much as he hates women, gays, poors, olds, and anything else that doesn’t smell like white bread and money.
In fact, since 1999, the National Right To Life Committee has scored his voting record 100%. He co-sponsored the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which defines fertilized eggs as human beings, and opposes abortion even in cases of rape or incest, or the woman’s life is endangered.
Not surprisingly, his 1,500 word pro-life essay doesn’t once mention the word “mother” or “woman,” and we can only assume that to him a vagina is like a unicorn; he’s heard of it, but never actually seen one, unless you count Georgia O’Keeffe’s famous flower blossoms.
Naturally, the man who once called a woman’s right to choose an “amoral exercise of arbitrary will” has no problem taking sides in the war on women.
“I’m as pro-life as a person gets,” he told The Weekly Standard in 2010. “You’re not going to have a truce.”
Oooh, did I mention charming, too!?
But that’s not it. This blue-eyed budget Nazi has so kindly offered to fix our finances, mostly through a combination of privatizing anything and everything, raising taxes on those making over $50,000 a year, cutting taxes for those making over $200,000 a year, presenting Mittens ‘n Co. a get-out-of-paying-taxes-for-life card golden ticket, ending Obamacare, Medicare, the word ‘care’ altogether, and last but not least, sending granny and gramps out to sea on ice floes with nothing but Atlas Shrugged to keep them warm at night.
After all, Paul Ryan’s idol is none other than Ayn Rand, a sociopath who much like our new baby-faced prepster GOP VP, believes that selfishness is a virtue and altruism is a sin, and anyone who gives to charity is a sucker.
He even credits Rand with inspiring him to enter politics, presumably to laugh at other people’s misery:
[T]he reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker…it would be Ayn Rand.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?? Ayn Rand? C’mon Ryan, you know better than that! Women can’t think for themselves!
Otherwise, who knows what awful, dangerous things might happen?
In Ayn Rand’s own words:
An embryo has no rights. Rights do not pertain to a potential, only to an actual being. A child cannot acquire any rights until it is born. The living take precedence over the not-yet-living (or the unborn).
Abortion is a moral right-which should be left to the sole discretion of the woman involved; morally, nothing other than her wish in the matter is to be considered. Who can conceivably have the right to dictate to her what disposition she is to make of the functions of her own body?
Ryan Shrugged.
Then he faced the crowd, saying, “The bad news is that President Obama is the president of the United States, and the good news is that on November the 6th he won’t be any longer.”
The bad news is that we’ll never in a million years know what would actually happen if Romney or Ryan were ever to be elected. The good news is that because of this, in a million years, America might actually still be around.
[image via CNN]