Steelers’ victory aside, there’s another story sending shockwaves through the sports world.
America’s amphibious golden child Michael Phelps was caught acting like every other 23-year-old with millions of dollars and nothing to do partying at the University of South Carolina over the weekend.
There the 14-time gold medal winner tried to throw his whole life away by smoking pot at a party. Pot! In his free time! At a party! With people!
The media frenzy forced an embarrassed Phelps to apologize for his “regrettable behavior” and assure the public such poor decision-making would not happen again.
After all, the best swimmer in the world is supposed to do more than just win medals and shatter records in the Olympics, he is supposed to be the role model for all children everywhere, all the time.
Now, get back in the pool where you belong so you can stop causing trouble and start spinning gold like the nice, sweet, multimillion-making, all-American merman you are.
Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.
LOL! This is awesome. I want a Michael Phelps Bong with little Mikes floating in the bong water.
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Legalize pot now. This is ridiculous. Pot is a lot more harmless than tobacco or alcohol and certainly a lot less harmful and more helpful than many prescription drugs. Pot being illegal is STUPID.
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[...] and made up mostly of fellow nutballs with the last name Phelps (no relation to Michael Phelps, who will burn in hell for smoking pot and engaging in the homosexual activity known as the Olympic butterfly) have [...]