Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans.
You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, or for that matter, a brown person he did like, which is why it comes as no surprise that the Supreme Court’s Supreme Dick is simply smitten (but not in a gross gay way) with Aryanzona’s “Let’s have a Mexican-hunting party” SB 1070 law, making brown skin illegal unless it is on Jan Brewer and comes from the nearest electric tanning bed.
And why not? Scalia has always loved hunting (small game, small children, whatever), not to mention Antonin knows illegal immigrants are pretty much the same as bank robbers, in that they are constantly stealing money by working long, grueling hours at below-standard wages.
In his fervent defense Wednesday of Arizona’s right to crack down on illegal immigration, Justice Antonin Scalia likened immigration enforcement to crackdowns on bank robbers.
“What’s wrong about the states enforcing federal law?” Scalia said during his aggressive questioning of U.S. Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. “There is a federal law against robbing federal banks. Can it be made a state crime to rob those banks? I think it is.”
The Reagan-appointed justice mocked the Obama administration’s argument that S.B. 1070 unconstitutionally forces the federal government to re-prioritize its enforcement resources and go after undocumented people who are not dangerous.
“But does the attorney general come in and say, you know, we might really only want to go after the professional bank robbers?” Scalia said. “If it’s just an amateur bank robber, you know, we’re going to let it go. And the state’s interfering with our whole scheme here because it’s prosecuting all these bank robbers.”
The line drew uncomfortable laughter and some gasps in the courtroom. It’s the sort of analogy that makes it easier for immigrant-rights advocates to accuse their opponents of lacking humanity. The vast majority of undocumented immigrants, advocates often have to point out, are not criminals and are merely trying to make a living for themselves and their families.
You mean immigrants have regular people feelings? Gasp! So much for the perks of being an alien.
Besides, what’s an “amateur bank robber” anyway? Oh right, the kind that sneaks into your financial institution and washes the dishes in the back with the rest of the underpaid employees instead of breaking open the vault and holding the place hostage, with promises of water refills and cloth wrapped utensils? Makes total sense now.
Angela Kelley, an immigration policy expert at the liberal Center for American Progress, said Scalia’s analogy is also wrong.
“Justice Scalia is funny but his analogy is false. As a justice, he knows that there are things only the federal government can do, things the states can do and some things both can do. In this case only the feds can deport unauthorized immigrants. In the case of bank robbers, either the states or the feds can arrest, prosecute and jail them. I don’t think Justice Scalia is advocating for each of the 50 states to start deportation programs.”
Of course not! He is advocating for each of the 50 states to start execution programs, silly!
“What does sovereignty mean if it does not include the ability to defend your borders? The states can police their borders,” Scalia said, suggesting that the White House opposes S.B. 1070 because it “doesn’t want [immigration] law enforced so rigorously, and that preempts the state from enforcing it vigorously.”
When Verrilli argued that international concerns factor into the federal government’s supremacy over immigration policy, Scalia angrily interrupted, “So we have to enforce our laws in a manner that will please Mexico. Is that what you’re saying?”
¡Ay dios mio! ¿Cómo se dice, “sociopath” en español?
Oh yeah, Scalia.
[image via TPM]