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Judge Rules Against Sending Forgotten Hairball Rod Blagojevich To Costa Rican Jungle

In a slap in the face to decent Americans across the country, a federal judge in Chicago denied forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich’s insane request to travel to Costa Rica to participate in a reality TV show called “I’m a Celebrity … Get me Out of Here!”

Calling it a “bad idea” to modify Blagojevich’s bail terms to allow the puffy-haired, federally-indicted former crime boss governor to travel outside the U.S., federal Judge James Zagel effectively dashed the public’s hopes of getting rid of the bumbling moron for at least a few precious weeks in June.

While Judge Zagel sympathized with Blago’s financial woes, he said there were “other ways for the ousted Gov. to earn money,” other than putting insects, worms and rats in his pants, sitting in a tank of leeches and wading through snake and eel-filled swamps in the Costa Rican jungles for the chance to earn $123,250, if voters can stand looking at Mr. Lego head for the full 12-episodes.

Before this morning’s hearing, Rod Gandhi Blagojevich told reporters he wanted to participate in the reality show as “a way to earn a living and support my children.”

“It’s not my first choice, but it’s a living,” he said.

I mean what the bleeping hell does a guy gotta do to earn a little friggin’ dough around here, anyway?

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