Categories

Archives

Johnny "Good Timing" McCain, Part Two

Call us naive, but we figured McCain’s uncanny knack for saying the wrong thing at the worst possible time could only rear itself once an election cycle. To be honest, we didn’t even think it was possible for McCain to outdue himself after the whole “fundamentals of economy are strong”/simultaneous market implosion fiasco.

But, gosh, that Johnny is so full of surprises!

McCain’s latest attempt to out himself as the presidential race’s token moron came earlier today when McCain decided to claim responsibility for crafting the winning bipartisan bailout legislation certain to pass easily through the upcoming House vote.

Initially, McCain’s campaign was modest about the role their candidate played in the deal. But, as the bill soon gained momentum and appeared increasingly likely to succeed, the no-longer suspended McCain campaign suddenly opened up about his brilliant leadership in getting the deal done.

Speaking at a rally in Ohio, McCain explained how he single-handedly rescued the bill from partisan extinction, unlike that do-nothing elitist Barack Obama who wouldn’t even suspend his campaign over it.

“I’ve never been afraid of stepping in to solve problems for the American people, and I’m not going to stop now. Sen. Obama took a very different approach to the crisis our country faced. At first he didn’t want to get involved. Then he was monitoring the situation. That’s not leadership. That’s watching from the sidelines.”

Asked if he was also then responsible for the bill’s devastating failure and country’s subsequent financial meltdown, McCain just giggled and reminded us that he bravely spent five years as a POW in Vietnam, and that Barack Obama’s real name is actually Osama bin Laden.

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>