Samuel “Joe The Plumber” Wurzelbacher may not be a plumber or even named Joe, but he’s not about to let silly things like facts or reality get in the way of his latest, greatest venture as the single most brilliant scholar to ever represent Ohio’s 9th District in the U.S. Congress (fingers crossed!).
And if there’s anything ol’ Joe/Sam knows about, it is world history, specifically the tragic, yet highly preventable genocides of Armenians and Jews, respectively.
Nevermind the traditional, historically accurate, BORING explanations about Europe being rife with virulent anti-Semitism going back to the Middle Ages, coupled with Hitler’s rise to absolute power in an economically-ravaged, post WWI Germany desperate for an “other” to scapegoat.
No, no, Professor Joe knows, the much more reasonable answer to the mass exterminations of two unrelated, albeit similarly fated ethnic minorities is
gay marriage, abortion, gun control!
And to think, I always thought affordable healthcare caused the Holocaust!
“In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917 one-point-five million Armenians, unable to defend themselves were exterminated,” Mr. Wurzelbacher says in the clip. “In 1939, Germany established gun control. From 1939 to 1945, six million Jews and seven million others unable to defend themselves were exterminated.”
OMG, so true! If only our Jewish brethren had the (Matzoh)balls big enough to pack some heat in their shtetls, and polish their Wessons instead of their Menorahs, maybe they could have done what Britain, the U.S. and half the European Continent could not, and taken on the entire Nazi Army themselves! Easy peasy.
So thank you Joe for teaching us all some very valuable lessons about how gun control caused both the Holocaust and the Armenian genocide, and for all we know, probably killed Jesus too.
But most important of all, thanks for teaching us that you don’t need to be a plumber to be full of shit.