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Joe Biden Promises Gays Equal Rights…One Of These Days

The good thing about being president is you can always send your vice-president to do the annoying sh*t you don’t want to do yourself.

Like dealing with those angry gays and lesbians. And boy are they pissed at old Barry! They think he doesn’t care about them now that he’s the president of the world and all. So what better way to cool off heated temps than by sending soft-spoken man of the people Joe Biden to smooth things over with the slighted rainbows?

You see fightin’ Joe Biden understands the anger the GLBT community is feeling towards Obama, and to be perfectly frank, he doesn’t blame them for their frustrations. I mean Barry is kinda acting like a dick, but fear not because Joe is on your side. He’ll “put some pace on the ball” in terms of actually trying to get you queers the rights and protections everyone keeps promising you until they actually get elected. Maybe then you’ll finally stop bitching for once.

“I am not unaware of the controversy swirling around this dinner and swirling around the speed or lack thereof that we are moving on issues that are of great importance to you…I don’t blame you for your impatience. But I hope you don’t doubt the president’s commitment.”

I mean look on the bright side people, Obama did appoint 60 of your fellow pink brethren, including nine that require Senate confirmation. So, despite the administration’s lack of progress on the Defense of Marriage Act, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and virtually every other gay issue, rest assured that the administration is committed to “the unfinished business of true equality.”

Joe will be the first to tell you that gay and lesbian concerns will not be “delayed, put off or not end up on Obama’s plate” because he is dealing with so many other issues.

“I promise you with your help we’ll get there in this administration,” even going as far as to say that if the country achieves real equality, “I will have marked my term as vice president as being truly worthwhile.”

But on the off chance he does fail, just remember it’s all the gays’ fault. Oh and lesbians too.

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