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Great Scott! Anything Can Happen When Brown Turns Blue...


Oh no, the end is near! Republican Great White Hope, one-time nude model, Scott Brown, who was supposed to ride his freedom truck to Washington, DC to save America from its socialist death slide, has instead voted with the tyrannical Democratic majority to destroy a Republican filibuster of the terrible, new $15 billion ‘Jobs Bill’ to bring the Bushwhacked economy back from the abyss.

Okay, so maybe we should have been slightly suspicious when he refused to wear clothes for that hoity-toity, elitist magazine cover, Cosmo something or other. But seriously Scott, aligning with the DEMONcrats on only your second Senate vote? For shame!

Is this what you think the good Teabaggers of Massachusetts had in mind when they trampled Teddy Kennedy’s ol’ bones, destroying decades of hard work and dedication in a revolutionary wave of racism and insanity, to ensure the rest of America doesn’t have the kind of terrible, Socialist, government-run health care they currently enjoy?

I should certainly hope not!

But here we are, once again thisclose to condemning another one of evil Barry’s awful bills to create jobs for Americans to slow death in filibuster hell (where it belongs), and this bleeding-heart hippie in Teabagger’s clothes jumps ship, joining Democrats in order to move forward and allow actual debate on the bill. Gasp!

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, four other alleged Republicans suddenly decided they too care about creating jobs for poor Americans who need them, even more than creating tax cuts for rich Americans who don’t, and decided to join Brown over on the dark side called progress.

Republican turncoats, Sens. Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, Kit Bond, and George Voinovich also bucked GOP leadership, instead siding with Democrats and rational thought, by giving Dems the 60 votes they needed to support the bill–and thus destroy everything we love about America, like unemployment, inflation, and rising costs of living.

But fear not Republicans, there’s still plenty Brown can do for you! Especially when wearing a suit, refraining from inhaling the exhaust fumes from his truck, and flexing his brain instead of just his biceps.

In other words, when not forced to prove his conservative street cred to a bunch of morons named after the sexual act of choice of drunken frats and high school house parties, and dressed like Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Alexander Hamilton if they were about to shoot a Snapple ad, in order to win a special election against a piece of driftwood by the name of Martha.

I came to Washington to be an independent voice, to put politics aside, and to do everything in my power to help create jobs for Massachusetts families. This Senate jobs bill is not perfect. I wish the tax cuts were deeper and broader, but I voted for it because it contains measures that will help put people back to work.

Hopefully, the kind that requires clothing.

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