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Failed Family Values Republican Candidate Proves He's Still #1 At Beating His Wife

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: A wingnut Republican from some bumblef*ck place in the South is caught abortin’, fornicatin’, beatin’, lyin’ or pretty much doing the one terrible, non-Jesusy thing they are always shrieking about, other than that black feller in the White House.

Like the newest member of the fraternity of Grand Old Posers facing criminal charges, Republican nominee for Tennessee’s 5th Congressional District and Hypocrite of the Year, Brad Staats (no relation to ungodly statistics), who was arrested and charged with domestic assault for beating his wife on Sunday.

On Sunday, police were called to his home by his wife, Bethany. She told officers Staats had slapped her in the face and left a red mark on her cheek.

A police affidavit [PDF] confirmed her statement. “Mr. Staats when questioned stated that during a verbal argument he pushed his wife Ms. Staats down onto a bed then left the location,” read the affidavit.

Reached for comment by the Tennessean, Staats would not comment on the incident except to the situation was “not what it appears to be.”

Of course not! He simply confused God’s commandment to rest on Sunday with getting arrested on Sunday. An honest mistake!

Staats was booked into Davidson County Jail on a charge of misdemeanor domestic assault. He was released after posting a $5,000 bond.

Brad Staats, a “family-matters” conservative who championed “traditional marriage” and “social values,” but lost the election to Democratic incumbent Jim Cooper by 85,000 votes, made national headlines last month when he posted a photo of a handgun on his Facebook page along with the caption “welcome to Tennessee Mr. Obama.”

“Many people in Tennessee keep asking me about my opinion on Second Amendment rights. Apparently Tennesseans are part of that crazy crowd that Obama says ‘cling to (their) religion and guns,'” Staats wrote, referencing remarks made by then-candidate Obama at a California fundraiser in 2008. “Well, then I must be part of that crazy crowd. Here is something that I usually have with me. Welcome to Tennessee Mr. Obama.”

Say hello to my little friend! And I don’t mean the one between his legs.

The photo of a Colt 911 semi-automatic pistol raised concerns among some who thought Staats might be threatening the President.

But the candidate denied any menacing undertones in his message, telling The Tennessean, “I’m not one of those that would ever threaten the president.”

That, my friends, is reserved for his wife.

In a follow-up post published yesterday and since removed, Staats asked his followers, “Is our current administration filled with traitors? Is our president a traitor? Is Barak (sic) Hussein Obama qualified to be president?”

Hmm, I don’t know. Is a person who can’t even spell the President’s name correctly (or his own dumb last name for that matter) qualified to be elected pass Kindergarten??

The world may never know.

What we do know is that when it comes to failed ‘family values’ Republican hypocrites, beating your spouse of the opposite sex is about as traditional as marriage gets.

[images via Gawker]

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