Arkansas Representative Jon Hubbard (R-Whitelandia) isn’t afraid to speak his mind, probably because eating paint chips was part of a balanced breakfast growing up in Arkansas.
Because much like other disturbed Hubbards before him, L. Jon Hubbard (The L stands for lunatic) has an unconventional way of looking at things, specifically the merits of slavery (hard work at half the price!), Nazis (maniacs or misunderstood?), and of course the importance of edjukashin so that never again will the sanctity of America be destroyed by a scary black man occupying the (once pure) White House.
You can have all that and more thanks to Jon Hubbard’s “Letters to the Editor: Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative,” widely available on Amazon as a way to remind us all that evolution may actually be a myth, or at least when it comes to Republicans in the American South.
Via Arkansas Times:
Slavery was good for black people:
“… the institution of slavery that the black race has long believed to be an abomination upon its people may actually have been a blessing in disguise. The blacks who could endure those conditions and circumstances would someday be rewarded with citizenship in the greatest nation ever established upon the face of the Earth.” (Pages 183-89)
And maybe just maybe if they worked hard enough someday they too would be allowed to vote, own property, play sports, hold office, marry a white woman, and be as miserable and undersexed as the rest of us not deprived equal rights under the law.
Besides, on the bright side, they could have still been in Africa, which is like a billion times worse than slavery or something.
If you think slavery was bad, you should have seen Africa:
African Americans must “understand that even while in the throes of slavery, their lives as Americans are likely much better than they ever would have enjoyed living in sub-Saharan Africa.”“Knowing what we know today about life on the African continent, would an existence spent in slavery have been any crueler than a life spent in sub-Saharan Africa?” (Pages 93 and 189)
Certainly no crueler than a life spent in sub-Mason Dixon Arkansas. But you can’t expect blacks to understand this because they aren’t very good at book learnin’ unlike white Southern Dixiecrats like Hubbard, who excel at the arts of racism and rhetoric.
Black people are ignorant:
“Wouldn’t life for blacks in America today be more enjoyable and successful if they would only learn to appreciate the value of a good education?” (Page 184)
Yeah maybe if they tried a little harder, they could actually do something important like become president.
But noooooo. All they (the blacks) want to do is ruin school for everyone (the whites) by, wait for it, also attending them. The nerve!
Integration was bad for white people:
“… one of the stated purposes of school integration was to bring black students up to a level close to that of white students. But, to the great disappointment of everyone, the results of this theory worked exactly in reverse of its intended purpose, and instead of black students rising to the educational levels previously attained by white students, the white students dropped to the level of black students. To make matters worse the lack of discipline and ambition of black students soon became shared by their white classmates, and our educational system has been in a steady decline ever since.” (Page 27)
See, it’s not Hubbard’s fault he’s an idiot. It’s all integration’s!
It’s basically hopeless.
“… will it ever become possible for black people in the United States of America to firmly establish themselves as inclusive and contributing members of society within this country?” (Page 187)
No, when they are not too busy occupying the highest office in the land, they are forever doomed to dominating all professional sports in America. Watch out hockey, you’re next!
Speaking of powerful white men trying to slap a shiny black object as far away from them as possible…
Immigration is bad.
..the immigration issue, both legal and illegal… will lead to planned wars or extermination. Although now this seems to be barbaric and uncivilized, it will at some point become as necessary as eating and breathing.” (Page 9)
Like chick-fil-A and Medicare oxygen tanks now.
Don’t forget Nazi Germany.
“American Christians are assuming a similar stance as did the citizens of Germany during Hitler’s rise to power.” (Page 158)
A brainwashed, backwards mass of anti-science psychos huddled angrily around a massive bonfire burning books, Jews, and anything else with signs of intelligent life?
Jesus Christ, that’s accurate!
[image via Wonkette]