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Creepy Stalkerish Michigan Assistant Attorney General Finally Takes Leave Of Absence...From Harassing Gay College Students

Hooray! The radical GAY Nazi student cabal wins again! Deviant homosexuals across the nation have earned the right to openly serve as college student body presidents without constant harassment by some creepy, nutjob Assistant Attorney General who has an unhealthy, not-in-the-least-bit suspicious obsession with an 18-year-old University of Michigan freshman all for having the sheer audacity to actually feel comfortable in his own terrible, gay skin.

But alas, it appears Michigan Assistant Attorney General and U of M alum, Andrew Shirvell’s insane, six-month stint moonlighting as the demented, creepy author of the (now private) blog, Christ Armstrong Watch, dedicated 24/7 to bullying and borderline stalking University of Michigan student president Chris Armstrong for his “radical agenda” presiding over Michigan’s student body (as an openly gay man, gasp!) and teaching fellow classmates that being gay is nothing to be ashamed of and certainly no reason to fling yourself off of the George Washington bridge, is thankfully over. For now.

After a media firestorm over Shirvell’s insane blog posts and one-man crusade to rid the Ann Arbor campus of any and all deviant homosinuality, particularly those of a certain elected loud ‘n proud student body president, the Assistant Attorney General and clearly very mentally stable civil servant will now take a leave of absence and likely face a disciplinary hearing when he returns to work. This is good news!

For once, it seems the media’s uproar actually had a positive result, instead of the usual heated debate whether Sarah Palin indeed got booed on the set of Dancing with the Stars, which as you know is probably the single most important philosophical question of the ages.

Just the other day Shirvell’s boss, Attorney General Mike Cox, went on Anderson Cooper’s show to defend his total negligence lack of action on his deranged Assistant Attorney, Shirvell, because of a little thing called the 1st Amendment, duh!

Apparently, this wonderful constitutional amendment exists to protect the rights of crazed homophobic madmen only, certainly not some radical, hell-bound student sodomite. This is Christian America, for Pete’s sake, not some hippie-dippie, feel good, Kumbaya alternative camp for troubled queer youth in Socialist Europe or something!

“He does satisfactory work and, off hours, he’s free to engage under both our civil service rules, Michigan Supreme Court rulings and the United States Supreme Court rule,” Attorney General Mike Cox said on CNN.

Cox did, however, call Shirvell’s actions “offensive.” “He’s clearly a bully. Absolutely. And is he using the Internet to be a bully? Yes,” Cox said. “But is that protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution? Yes.”

“We have this thing called the First Amendment, which allows people to express what they think.”

Including the psychotic, possibly criminal rantings of a prematurely balding mid-level state government functionary, with an everyday, run-of-the-mill, totally normal OBSESSION with some gay college kid (nothing weird there!), who according to his now-defunct Facebook page, is absolutely 100 percent heterosexual, as is evidenced by the photo of him making physical contact with an actual, real live human female!

So umm, go Andrew Shirvell?? Not only is he 100 percent, without-a-doubt straight, he’s now absolutely 100 percent straight out of a job, too!

Everyone wins!

But please, feel free to keep it up Andrew! Cause who knows, maybe if you keep trying your very hardest, you will actually do something to get yourself arrested and then you can spend many a hot sexy night surrounded by ripped, sweaty men just dyiiiiiiiing to have their sinful, sodomizing way with you.

Just like you always dreamed blogged it would be!

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