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Duck, Duck, Gay? Homeschooled Teen Girl Wisely Teaches World That Evolution Turns Gay People Into Ducks

Donald & Daffy Not Donald & Ronald!

Are you a good, Jesus-loving Christian who fears the heathen public school system will turn your once-innocent child into a raging homosexual liberal who believes in crazy things like science and history?

Yes? Then do we have the education solution for you, my friend! It’s called homeschooling and […]

Mitt Romney Wins The Gold In The Olympic Sport Of Insulting Entire Kingdoms

With Willard “Mittens” Romney having trouble connecting to the riff-raff and vagabonds not retroactively raking in nine-figure salaries here in America, his advisors figured why not let ol’ Mitt try his perfectly manicured, white-gloved hand with the fine blokes across the pond, in the one and only land of Mary Poppins and mincemeat, wee Londontowne.

Naturally, […]

Anti-Gay Alabama Wingnut Bill Johnson Is Against Sinful Same-Sex Families Unless He Has "A Hand" In Creating Them

Pop quiz: What does a failed, anti-gay, conservative Christian politician do two years after losing his 2009 campaign to become Alabama’s newest, craziest, wingnut governor?

If you guessed embark on a lesbian-impregnating rampage in New Zealand, despite his own homophobic past and without the knowledge of his two-time Mrs. America finalist wife, give yourself a round […]

Obama Administration Announces Global Quest To Save Gay People; Rick Perry Denounces It In Personal Quest To Save Himself From Seeming Like A Good Person

Normal, sane folk who don’t convulse uncontrollably at the idea of actually making dare I say, progress in the treatment of fellow human beings, felt an overwhelming sense of pride as Barack Obama announced that the United States “would use all the tools of American diplomacy, including the potent enticement of foreign aid, to promote […]

Obama Gently Reminds Serial Hotel Maid Groper & (Former) IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Look With Your Eyes, Not With Your Hands!

“Sir, Step Away From The First Lady!”

Some pictures say a thousand words. This one just says four: Watch It Old Man!

Okay, okay, fine, so alleged sexual assault is usually no laughing matter. But then again, this 2009 photo of alleged sexual assaulter and serial maid harasser Dominique Strauss-Kahn meeting President Barack Obama and First Lady […]

IMF Chief & Serial Sex Fiend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Probably Just Confused A Hotel Maid With A Third-World Country

Sacré bleu! International Man of Mystery Monetary Fund chief (aka the man in charge of the world’s cash money) Dominique Strauss-Kahn was hauled off an Air France flight (first class, of course!) minutes before take-off all because cops say he tried to rape a lowly hotel maid before hightailing his pricey li’l derrière to the […]

What's The Only Thing Scarier Than War & Famine In Uganda? Gay People, Of Course!

Uganda’s enlightened 15th century 21st century bill condemning terrible, no-good gays & lezzies, and all “active homosexuals living with HIV” to death (and probably not by chocolate!) or at the very least, life imprisonment for anyone known to participate in “homosexual acts,” has been temporarily shelved, and only partially because it is batsh*t […]

War, What Is It Good For? Absolutely Everything!

Winning!

Since two protracted bloody wars weren’t quite enough for America™, the mighty red, white, and blue figured why the hell not launch a third awesome military (mis)adventure into hostile foreign territory to help save hundreds of thousands of suffering Libyans delicious barrels of oil, and uphold our nation’s commitment to restoring peace and stability back […]

OMG, Japan Gets Rocked By Massive Earthquake, Tsunami; Naturally U.S. Republicans Respond By Trying To Cut Earthquake, Tsunami Monitoring Funds

Something unspeakably terrible and tragic happens in the world, and for once, it wasn’t the awful Muslims, queers, or Wisconsin union workers’ fault for forcing God to unleash his furious wrath on unsuspecting masses in the form of some natural catastrophe or another, as retribution for their deviant lifestyle of sin.

Unless, of course God was […]

Julian Assange & John Galliano Don't Have A Jewish Problem, All Their Problems Just Happen To Be Jews!

What is with the Jews these days? The damn yids just cannot stop forcing otherwise renowned, well-respected, wealthy, international middle-aged men (of mystery), notably John Galliano and Julian Assange, to say terrible, bigoted, ignorant things about them in bars, interviews, and other public places vicious anti-Semitic rants are typically discouraged.

Apparently, killing Christ just wasn’t enough […]