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Are You On The NRA's Hit List? If You're A Human With A Conscience, The Answer Is Yes

Are you a Jew, woman, college graduate, lawyer, Latino, young person, black person, nurse, police officer, Episcopalian, celebrity or anyone else who doesn’t feel a burning urge to pump hundreds of hollow-point rounds into small, defenseless animals and/or innocent schoolchildren?

Well then, WATCH OUT because the National Rifle Association is locked, loaded, and aiming ready to […]

NRA President David Keene Would Feel Much Safer If President Obama Would Shoot Off His Guns Instead Of His Mouth

David Keene, the unhinged leader of the National Rifle Association not named Wayne LaPierre, knows that guns don’t kill people, meany black presidents kill people.

Just listen to all the carnage President King Obama nearly caused Keene and his family by letting his loose lips, instead of high capacity clips, shoot wildly all over place.

Via Think […]

Welcome To Glennbeckistan: Once You Go Beck You Never Go Back!

Insane person and human tear factory Glenn Beck took time from scribbling conspiracy theories on chalk boards to introduce America to his latest, greatest, delusional attempt to bilk hardworking people out of millions of dollars create a libertarian community of crazies, the Ayn Rand-inspired utopia of guns and personal responsibility known as Glennbeckistan!

On […]

Like Any Top Predator, Rep. Virginia Foxx Will Aggressively Defend Her Turf, Including ‘Members Only’ Elevators From Invading Junior Staffers

All The Bitches In The Room Put Your Hand Up!

Old pasty white Representative of North Carolina Virginia Foxx (R-Cranky) may have the last name of an omnivorous mammal belonging to the Canidae family, but her personality is more like a starved, tortured dog belonging to the Vick family.

Ruff!

Just look what happened when some […]

Failed Family Values Republican Candidate Proves He's Still #1 At Beating His Wife

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: A wingnut Republican from some bumblef*ck place in the South is caught abortin’, fornicatin’, beatin’, lyin’ or pretty much doing the one terrible, non-Jesusy thing they are always shrieking about, other than that black feller in the White House.

Like the newest member of the fraternity of Grand Old […]

Pray The Gale Away: Even Hurricane Isaac Wants Nothing To Do With Tampa Or The RNC

A few days ago the decision was made by RNC organizers to employ the Bush Doctrine and preemptively strike down all convention activites on Monday to avoid a potentially disastrous, massive washing-away of the similarly massive eat mor chikin, do les xrsize convention delegate crowd.

I know what you’re thinking. Why on God’s once-green […]

Big Head Tom & The (UN) Monsters In Lubbock County, Texas

Every Republican worth their weight in Texas T-Bones knows there is never, ever, EVER a reason to raise taxes on the good people of these United States of Jesus, so help them God.

Err, except one.

If for some reason that no-good, chocolatey-skinned NOBAMER feller were to win reelection, God forbid, and hand over the sovereignty of […]

GOP Senate Hopeful Todd Akin's So Busy Learning About "Legitimate" Vs. "Illegitimate" Rape, He Forgot To Learn To Be A Legitimate Candidate

Missouri Congressman, GOP Senate candidate, and living proof of the theory of devolution, Todd Akin knows a few things about the female anatomy, particularly when it comes to the magical powers of women’s reproductive systems, which if you didn’t know, are able to transform into vaginal panic rooms in case of emergencies, like rape.

Because while you […]

Mitt Romney Picks Fiscal Sociopath, Ayn Rand Fanatic Paul Ryan As His VP; America Shrugs

So there you have it, America.  The moment you’ve been waiting for, the day that Willard “Mitt” Romney finally picked his running mate, the next (non)vice-president of the United States, Rep. Paul Ryan of the great state of Wisconsin.

Hooray!

But just who is this nice young man from down the street who looks like a Boy […]

Anti-Gay Protester Sets Fire To Box Of Cheerios, Bringing New Meaning To The Word "Flamer"

Nothing, I say, nothing says ‘heterosexual’ more than a bronzed man in a pink button down with his sleeves rolled up three-quarters, trying (*and failing) to light a box of “homosexual” Cheerios on fire to protest General Mills’ pro-marriage equality stance, which much like another man, he simply cannot get behind!

“One out of […]