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After months of deep-throating various meats-on-sticks and confusing serial killer clowns (John Wayne Gacy) with lady-killer movie stars (John Wayne), America’s favorite blue-eyed basket case of the Midwest Michele Bachmann officially announced she is ending her presidential campaign to honor fellow faux grrrrrl power quitter extraordinaire Sarah Palin focus on her real job, crusading against [...]
Normal, sane folk who don’t convulse uncontrollably at the idea of actually making dare I say, progress in the treatment of fellow human beings, felt an overwhelming sense of pride as Barack Obama announced that the United States “would use all the tools of American diplomacy, including the potent enticement of foreign aid, to promote [...]
Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block (Pennsylvania Ave, what what!) finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry, probably now that the rest of the dorks in Congress have taken a collective, much needed break from incessantly tweeting fuzzy pics of their genitalia and other wonderful congressional delights in 140 characters [...]
Woohoo America, Osama bin Laden is finally as dead as Donald Trump’s chances of ever being hired as anything but a bad reality teevee host, courtesy of an elitist red, white, and blue, Obama-approved bullet to the brain by U.S. special forces during a firefight at his secret mansion/military compound in Pakistan. REALLY, GUY!? A [...]
Remember that tall, dark, and handsome man sweet talking America into falling head over heels for his sexy smile, chocolatey smooth leadership style, and unique ability to formulate complete sentences without the the aid of a teleprompter or Dick Cheney grunting in his ear?
You know, the “hopey changey” one who was gonna restore honor and [...]
Did the 60-year military dictatorship in Egypt end while you wasted away your weekend drinking Four Loko in the desperate hopes that enough carbonated toxic liquid would help make either of the not one, but two miserable All-Star snoozefests on the boob tube at least mildly entertaining, if not outright depressing?
Eh, no not yet. Still-President [...]
Oooh, America, the excitement is in the air! Or maybe it’s just the toxic greenhouse gases slowly asphyxiating Mother Earth now that the Obama Administration up and fired (finally!) its only real environmentalist, fierce tree-hugging hippie, now former White House energy adviser, Carol M. Browner, because who the hell needs a planet anyway?
Certainly not America, [...]
President Barack Obama took to the teevee to do what he does best, other than nailing mid range jump shots: nailing liberal Democrats and their terrible no-good liberal Democratic policies in order to defend his perfectly good reasoning for bending over striking a compromise with congressional Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts for [...]
It’s no secret that when Republicans even so much as threaten to utter the dreaded words Democrats and taxes in the same sentence, diminutive Donkeys from Dover to Denver run screaming for the hills because nothing is more terrifying than a bunch of wild-eyed, salivating, power-starved conservatives painting liberals as crazy spend ‘n tax madmen [...]
Long-faced loser President Barack EMObama moped around the White House yesterday, making his obligatory big post-election press conference about how bad it feels to get shellacked, before putting on his old Bulls sweatsuit, plopping on the West Wing couch and stuffing his face with arugula chips and Ben & Jerry’s for the next two years [...]
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Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.
