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Oy Vey! As Jews across America and the world get ready to celebrate Rosh Hashanah and usher in the Jewish New Year, the Chosen Ones were greeted with a heartfelt message from none other than the Frozen One, Sarah Palin, who took to her personal Bimah, the social networking site for Tweens known as Facebook, to [...] Much like Gramps McCain and the rest of the old, creepy Republicans desperately trying to recapture their-once youthful glow by mastering the art, no make that the science, of popular tween social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook before him, a new, even creepier Asian kid has decided to join the rest of [...] Like any Mama Grizzly worth her weight in fat and fur, Sarah Palin doesn’t take too kindly to strangers, especially dumb librul ones, getting too close to her or her precious li’l cubs. And much like any vicious, aggressively defensive wild animal feeling the slightest bit threatened, any hapless intruder is met with a swift, [...] When we were hit with the devastating news that the oracle of the ages, the spiritual eyes of loyal Christian patriots around the world, Glenn Lee Beck, may or may not go blind within the next year, we could hardly believe our still-functioning ears! Not Glenn Lee Beck, the beautiful blond-haired, blue-but-maybe-also-blind-eyed divine angel of truth [...] It’s always refreshingly eye-opening to see how other cultures view America’s various power-hungry demagogues and fraudulent national celebrities embarrassments, especially when that culture happens to be of the Asian variety, where every last one of us will likely be employed as factory workers in the near future, making cheap, poorly constructed products to sell [...] Why waste your time spending oodles of your precious, hard-earned money on those arugula-eating, elitist institutions with their liberal values (abortions & homos!) and hoity-toity academic accreditations? When for just a fraction of the cost you can get all that and more! Welcome to the brand spanking-new manifestation of Glenn Beck’s alcohol and drug ravaged, born [...] Awful arctic drifter $arah Palin is apparently getting bored making boatloads of money by quitting her day job(s) so she can put all her energies into doing what she does best: nothing! Except, of course, when using her vast political knowledge and expertise on all security matters to help bring to justice a terrible blight on [...] Ah yes, the mighty Supreme Court, the ultimate judicial body on all issues, including final interpretive authority on laws relating to technology across this great land. Hooray! So while these nine justices–the brightest legal minds in the country–may be well versed when it comes to matters of Stare Decisis, ask ‘em about Sega Genesis, and all [...] If you’re like every other warm-blooded, sentient being living on this swirling blue third planet from the sun, your natural reaction to hearing the news(?) that wandering snow grifter Sarah Palin and old school heartthrob LL Cool J would be sitting down together to talk about the Barracuda’s brilliant new Fox News show, Real [...] Yo, yo waaaasup America? It’s your off-the-hook, resident GOP dancing avatar Micheal Steele welcoming you to the hottest website on the block, the fresh, new GOP.com baby! RNC Chairman Michael Steele promised to “take this party to the streets” and God damn it, he wasn’t messin’ around! The sweet, newly redesigned GOP website has everything a hip, [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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