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Texas College Republicans May Flunk Most Things, But They Sure Get An A In Racist Twitter Poetry

Holy Twit! Another day, another University of Texas Austin College Republicans President tweets something terrible and racist about President Obama, 4 like fun ‘n stuff! Hooray!!

The wonderfully enlightened prose (for trailer trash in Amarillo) comes from the second University of Texas College Republicans President in as many months, talented poet-to-be, Cassie Wright. The first one, […]

Holy Twit! Kansas High School Student Won't Apologize For Saying Gov. Sam Brownback Sucks Harder Than A Topeka Twister

War of the Words (in 150 or less): Brownback v. Sullivan

Thin-skinned crybaby Kansas governor of creationism and trolling Twitter feeds for meany comments by teenage girls, Sam Brownback, has decided to stop harassing 18-year-old high school students and start slashing arts education and civil rights for gays like the wise, compassionate Republican statesman he is.

Which […]

Master Of Delusion Newt Gingrich Buys Fake Twitter Followers To Go Along With Everything Else In His Life

OMG, LOLZ. White-haired swamp creature and master of the Twittervirse Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign may be on life support, but unlike his first wife, that doesn’t mean ol’ Newt’s going to leave it to die, cold and alone, on a hospital bed.

Sure, his campaign is over $1 million in debt, the perpetual butt of all […]

Fox News Celebrates The Birth Of America By Tweeting The Death Of Obama

Howdy, America! While you were temporarily freed from the shackles of your office cubicle in order to patriotically guzzle beer, shove burgers into your mouth, and light sparkly red, white, and blue trinkets that explode in the sky in celebration of our nation’s Independence from elitist accents, crumpets, bad teeth the British, Fox News was […]

President Barack Obama Becomes The Newest Politician To Tweet His Private Thoughts, Hopefully Not His Private Parts

Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block (Pennsylvania Ave, what what!) finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry, probably now that the rest of the dorks in Congress have taken a collective, much needed break from incessantly tweeting fuzzy pics of their genitalia and other wonderful congressional delights in 140 characters […]

Holy Twit! Twitter Refuses To Verify Scott Walker's Account, But Was Able To Verify His Asshole Status

Famous people like Charlie “Tiger Blood” Sheen, Rahm “9½ Fingers” Emanuel, and Sarah “Lou” Palin have “verified” Twitter accounts, meaning their ghostwritten 140-character thoughts, ruminations, and random profanity-laced outbursts are honored with a little green check mark next to their name, proving that they are indeed the awesome celebrities they claim to be (or, at […]

Can You Guess The Ingenious Mind Behind The Internet's Best Kept Secret, "Lou Sarah"?

It is no secret Sarah Louise Palin rules the Internets and all things related to it, including ghostwritten 140-character Tweets of indecipherable gibberish no one understands, except Twits, Twats, ‘n Tweens, like say, the original runner up vice-presidential loser/half-term governor and her brood of fellow fame grubbing, ridiculously-named grifters.

So it should come as no surprise […]

Walk Like An Egyptian...Loudly, Relentlessly, & With An iPhone Twitter App Toward Democracy!

The Egyptian Revolution may not be televised (America don’t take too kindly to Al Jazeera in her parts!) but it will most definitely be Facebooked and Tweeted and re-Tweeted ad nauseum.

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we’re free at last!

Err, kind of.

I mean, Hosni Mubarak did finally step down as Egypt’s default […]

Anger Bear Todd Palin Will Not Hesitate To Harrass You With Misspelled, Error-Ridden, Special Needs Emails Ordering You To Endorse President Palin

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not just Mama Grizzlies who bellow, roar, and seethe with white, hot anger when feeling even the slightest bit threatened by hunters, poachers, the lamestream media, or whatever dark, ominous forces are bothering the massive, predatory beasts now.

Cause Papa can play that game too!

And rest assured, Mama Grizzly’s husband, Anger […]

Who The Hell Is 'Orora' & What Has It Done To America's Most Cherished Online Cheerleader Sarah Palin?

Since holding an actual elected position is clearly beneath her Arctic highness Sarah Palin (the only qualified person in America to do anything), perhaps more suited to her “skills” would be to function as an effective wingnut “cheerleader,” based purely on her experience in patriotically quitting the only elected statewide office she’s ever […]