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Texas GOP Bans 'Critical Thinking' In Schools Because Knowledge Is For Godless Commies & Queer Democrats (AKA All Non-Texas Residents)

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the huge, swinging cojones of the Grand Old Party in Grand Old Texas.

Hell, just look at their latest, greatest platform outlining the GOP’s brilliant (by Texas standards, retarded to everyone else) policies for 2012. Wait, or was it 1220? I can never remember!

Middle Aged men, the Middle Ages, is there […]

Utah's GOP Chair's Awful, Illiterate Wife Reminds The Nation Why You Should Never Let A Gay On The Ballot Or Get An Education In Utah

Fred Karger, you know, the openly gay Republican who is still “running” for president (adorable, right?) even though everyone knows the only gay Republicans who exist are the secret, self-hating, hiding-in-Marcus-Bachmann’s-closet kind.

Well, apparantly Fred didn’t get the memo that his Grand Old Party of bigots and hypocrites don’t much care for him or the rest […]

Virginia Lawmakers Join North Carolina In Deciding Denial Is The Best Solution Because 'Rising Sea Levels' Are A 'Left-Wing Plot' To Not Murder Mother Earth

While crazed, bath salt-riddled zombies are eating people’s faces and the sanctity of heterosexual marriage continues its apocalyptic death spiral into the scary gay abyss, some people are worried about silly, trivial things like oh, I don’t know, the ocean crashing through their living room and turning their houses into floating pieces of wood and […]

Obama May Not Make The Ballot In Arizona Because Arizona Doesn't Need A Reason To Be The Dumb, Racist, Backwater Hellhole Everyone Is Embarrassed Of

“I See Brown People!”

Bored with their usual antics of deporting frightened Mexican and Mexican-ish looking people and denying ladies sluts access to baby murdering apparatus birth control (yawn!), the fine citizens of Aryanzona have turned their short, sun-scorched attention to another pressing matter: the true birth origins of a certain illegal Socialist, half-black, […]

Justice Antonin Scalia Never Met A Hunt He Didn't Like, Including Arizona's "Hunt Brown People" Law

Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans.

You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, […]

Chris Christie Vows To Reject New Jersey Gay Marriage Law Faster Than A Jenny Craig Diet

Rejoice gays and gayettes! New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will shimmy-shake its fabulous self on down to the State Assembly, which will pass it, because why the hell not? From there it will shake its groove thing over to the desk of New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches Fat Fattie […]

Crazy New Maine Governor Paul LePage Declares War On Labor...In The Form Of Historic Art Murals In The State Capital

It is no secret that several Republican governors, like that one Kochsucker in Wisconsin, have waged an all-out, no holds-barred, full-frontal assault on those no-good workers’ unions and their terrible, ungodly right to collectively bargain fair wages and safe working conditions so they don’t end up dying both penniless and limbless, since everyone knows it’s […]

Runaway Wisconsin Dems On The Lam In Illinois To Escape Crazy Gov. Scott Walker's Big, Bad, Bust-Up Unions Bill

Screw the Middle East, bro, have you seen the crazy shit that’s goin’ down in the Middle West?

All 14 of Wisconsin’s Democratic Senators have fled the state (9-month long winters and this is what it took?) to prevent union-busting, budget-crazed Republicans from voting stripping public employees of their longstanding collective bargaining rights, and basically transforming […]

South Dakota Hopes To Increase Tourism By Legalizing Abortion (Doctor Murder)

While the big, bad gubmint pokes its no-good, grubby paws all over good, decent, hardworking American’s constitutional right to get fleeced by insurance companies while battling cancer, freedom ‘n Jesus-loving legislators in America’s heartland are working overtime to make sure their citizens are protected from the Socialist threat of Uncle Sam, and finding their own […]

Is That A Glock In Your Pocket Or Are You Just A Mentally Ill Misfit From Arizona?

Usually when something shocking and terrible happens, normal people come together to grieve, express their sorrow, and reflect on the unspeakable tragedy in a heartfelt way, if only for a fleeting moment.

Then there’s Arizona’s way.

After witnessing one of their own elected Representatives, Democrat Gabrielle Giffords, and 19 others brutally gunned down in Tuscon by a […]