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Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans. You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, [...] Rejoice gays and gayettes! New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will shimmy-shake its fabulous self on down to the State Assembly, which will pass it, because why the hell not? From there it will shake its groove thing over to the desk of New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches Fat Fattie [...] It is no secret that several Republican governors, like that one Kochsucker in Wisconsin, have waged an all-out, no holds-barred, full-frontal assault on those no-good workers’ unions and their terrible, ungodly right to collectively bargain fair wages and safe working conditions so they don’t end up dying both penniless and limbless, since everyone knows it’s [...] Screw the Middle East, bro, have you seen the crazy shit that’s goin’ down in the Middle West? All 14 of Wisconsin’s Democratic Senators have fled the state (9-month long winters and this is what it took?) to prevent union-busting, budget-crazed Republicans from voting stripping public employees of their longstanding collective bargaining rights, and basically transforming [...] While the big, bad gubmint pokes its no-good, grubby paws all over good, decent, hardworking American’s constitutional right to get fleeced by insurance companies while battling cancer, freedom ‘n Jesus-loving legislators in America’s heartland are working overtime to make sure their citizens are protected from the Socialist threat of Uncle Sam, and finding their own [...] Usually when something shocking and terrible happens, normal people come together to grieve, express their sorrow, and reflect on the unspeakable tragedy in a heartfelt way, if only for a fleeting moment. Then there’s Arizona’s way. After witnessing one of their own elected Representatives, Democrat Gabrielle Giffords, and 19 others brutally gunned down in Tuscon by a [...] The world’s dopiest illegal stasher of $7 million secret RNC debt, Chairman Michael Steele (who else, yo?) and most deviant duper of liberals and black racists in the White House and NAACP, right-wing media monster mogul Andrew Breitbart are joining forces to create the biggest, most bad-ass fund-raising juggernaut the Republicans, no, make that the [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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