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A Handy New How-To Wingnut Guide For When The Big Bad Government Comes For Your Innocent Guns

What do you do when some filthy criminal (Black/Liberal/Jew/Mexican/etc) breaks into your house and tries to steal all your God-given guns, Glenn Beck approved gold coins ‘n other precious stuff??

Why, you pick up one of your 99 trusty shotguns decoratively adorning various shelves and cabinets around the house. Then you shoot that trespassing motherf**ker full […]

When Hate & Hombres Collide: J.T. Ready (Aim, Fire!) & His Posse Of Armed White Supremacists Head South To The Border!

To most average Americans, or at least those of us still blessed with a full set of teeth and the ability to formulate a single coherent English sentence without the words “sp*cs” or “n*ggers,” Arizona’s awesome, new ¡Adiós Amigos! law stemming the tide of gross border jumping beans streaming into the good ol’ US of […]

Comrades Barry & Medvedev Share Burgers 'N Fries, While Russia Orders A Side Of Secret Soviet Spies

Ooooooh, spies! And not just any old spies but real, live scary-sexy RUSSIAN SPIES right here in the American-as-apple-pie posh neighborhoods of the elitist, arugula-eating Northeast.

Soviet comrades turned latte-sippin’ professional yuppies in American suburbia. Welcome to the new Desperate Housewives of New York, New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts, Ruski Spy Edition!

An F.B.I. investigation that began […]

Gen. Stanley McChrystal Turns On The Real Enemies: The Lame, Non-War Loving Wimps In The White House

Oh no-zees! Did you hear the wild, earth-shattering news broken by that liberal elitist rag for hippie-dippie stoners and druggie rockstars, Rolling Stone?

No, no not what Lady Gaga wasn’t wearing under her latest hideous ensemble that fashion experts are calling some sort of “dress.”

The one about that psychotic commanding officer of all U.S. troops in Afghanistan, […]

Much Like The Dodo Bird & The GOP, Don't Ask Don't Tell May Soon Be Relegated To Museums' Extinct Relics Collections

OMG! Did you hear the amazing, Earth-shattering news? Barack Obama has finally given the ol’ presidential stamp of approval on a compromise to repeal the Pentagon’s wonderful “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, which effectively bars gross gay people from risking their pathetic, sinful lives and serve in the United States military, like the rest of […]

What's Gross, Creepy, Slimy & Makes You Shudder All Over? A Nazi-Spewin' Newt Goin' Off The Deep End

Heil Newt?

Lovable amphibian-named pinnacle of reason and truth, Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich will say and do just about anything to get someone, anyone, to pay attention to what he, a thrice-married, twice divorced, multi-adulterous, washed-up former Republican Speaker of the House has to say about the current state of things, here in NObama’s America, if you […]

Dan Fanelli Needs Your Help To Make Florida The Next Great, Colorless State No One Likes Anymore

Some right-wing dingbat by the name of Dan Fanelli dreamt up a brilliant plan to win the GOP nomination and unseat terrible, outspoken liberal “BUM” Rep. Alan Grayson in sunny Florida, land of citrus groves, gated retirement communities, and old people barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel, using nothing but people’s unsavory […]

Constitutional-Lovin' Republicans (+Joe Lieberman) Discuss The Various Ways To Shred It...For Freedom!

Wingnuts from sea to shining sea, across this great land, are coming out in droves over the arrest of would-be Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad, each with their own unique perspective on how best to (mis)treat this awful terror suspect, and deny him his constitutional rights as a naturalized American citizen. Hooray!

But with so many […]

$arah Palin's Quest To Bring Down 22-Year-Old Cyber Menace Who Guessed Her Yahoo! Password Two Years Ago

Awful arctic drifter $arah Palin is apparently getting bored making boatloads of money by quitting her day job(s) so she can put all her energies into doing what she does best: nothing!

Except, of course, when using her vast political knowledge and expertise on all security matters to help bring to justice a terrible blight on […]

Russian Roulette? No, Obama Just Knows You Can't Clink Glasses With Nuclear Arms!

Here’s Barry going all 007 on Russian President Dmitry Medvedev who’s, in turn, giving him the old “Care for some poison with your champagne” look while crazy, corrupt, climate change denier Czech president Vaclav Klaus daydreams about piles of money stacked high as the eye can see, or at least high enough to keep […]