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Congratulations, America! The moment we’ve all been waiting for—and Republicans have been warning us about—is finally here, and it’s most definitely queer.
At the stroke of midnight on Tuesday, the terrible, nearly two decades old discriminatory policy banning gays and lezzies from being all they can be as loud ‘n proud members of the U.S. military [...]
Howdy, America! While you were temporarily freed from the shackles of your office cubicle in order to patriotically guzzle beer, shove burgers into your mouth, and light sparkly red, white, and blue trinkets that explode in the sky in celebration of our nation’s Independence from elitist accents, crumpets, bad teeth the British, Fox News was [...]
Woohoo America, Osama bin Laden is finally as dead as Donald Trump’s chances of ever being hired as anything but a bad reality teevee host, courtesy of an elitist red, white, and blue, Obama-approved bullet to the brain by U.S. special forces during a firefight at his secret mansion/military compound in Pakistan. REALLY, GUY!? A [...]
Leading Shakespearean scholar and philosopher of Facebook, Dr. Sarah Louise Palin is very confused about what the dickens is going on over in Liberia, err, Latvia, wait, or was it Libya (she can never remember!), and not just because she’s a stupid snowbilly grifter whose IQ is the same number as the average winter [...]
Winning!
Since two protracted bloody wars weren’t quite enough for America™, the mighty red, white, and blue figured why the hell not launch a third awesome military (mis)adventure into hostile foreign territory to help save hundreds of thousands of suffering Libyans delicious barrels of oil, and uphold our nation’s commitment to restoring peace and stability back [...]
Remember that tall, dark, and handsome man sweet talking America into falling head over heels for his sexy smile, chocolatey smooth leadership style, and unique ability to formulate complete sentences without the the aid of a teleprompter or Dick Cheney grunting in his ear?
You know, the “hopey changey” one who was gonna restore honor and [...]
It is no secret that Rep. Peter King of Xenophobia is no fan of that other royally-named King of Pop Michael Jackson and his perverted white gloved gyrations all over the place, thrusting his crotch every which way, titillating innocent women and children like some sicko sexual terrorist with even sicker dance moves.
But even more [...]
The Egyptian Revolution may not be televised (America don’t take too kindly to Al Jazeera in her parts!) but it will most definitely be Facebooked and Tweeted and re-Tweeted ad nauseum.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we’re free at last!
Err, kind of.
I mean, Hosni Mubarak did finally step down as Egypt’s default [...]
Did the 60-year military dictatorship in Egypt end while you wasted away your weekend drinking Four Loko in the desperate hopes that enough carbonated toxic liquid would help make either of the not one, but two miserable All-Star snoozefests on the boob tube at least mildly entertaining, if not outright depressing?
Eh, no not yet. Still-President [...]
Usually when something shocking and terrible happens, normal people come together to grieve, express their sorrow, and reflect on the unspeakable tragedy in a heartfelt way, if only for a fleeting moment.
Then there’s Arizona’s way.
After witnessing one of their own elected Representatives, Democrat Gabrielle Giffords, and 19 others brutally gunned down in Tuscon by a [...]
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Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.
