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Michele Bachman Has A Secret Fashion Weapon Stashed In Her Closet & His Name Is Marcus Bachmann

Michele Bachmann may have a set of sparkling baby blues to kill for (try it, she dares you!) and a smokin’ hot body to boot, but how does Rep. “Crazy Eye Candy” from Minnesota keep herself looking so fabulously fashionable??

Why, the secret styling weapon she keeps stashed inside her walk-in closet, of course!

From a 2006 […]

OMG! New Leaked Sarah Palin Tell-All Reveals Sarah Palin Is Not Only A Terrible Person, But A Terrible Email Writer Too!

“A leaked manuscript by one of Sarah Palin’s closest aides from her time as governor charges that Palin broke state election law in her 2006 gubernatorial campaign and was consumed by petty grievances up until she resigned.”

What, what, what!?!? Petty grievances?? Nah, doesn’t sound a bit like her. Not our Sarah Palin! No, no, must […]

OMG, Has One Half Of America's Favorite Frozen Duo Been Huntin' For Hookers Instead Of Hares?

Much like America’s most fair and balanced network, Fox News, America’s favoritest, most trustworthy newspaper, the National Enquirer is internationally renowned for its unique ability to occasionally accurately break a real, live news story (that doesn’t involve UFOs, aliens or John Edwards’ man-seed) out of every, oh, I don’t know, 100 or so, it reports.

So […]

Is Everyone's Fave Straight-As-A-Southern-Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham About To Be Outed As A Deviant, Army Distracting Homosexual?

South Carolina’s favorite sexually ambiguous native son, lifelong bachelor, and lesbian look-a-like senior Senator Lindsey Graham is always reliably against deviant homosexuals having any basic human rights in America because well, Lindsey’s a Republican, y’all!

And not just any gay-bashin’ war lovin’ rough ‘n tumble conservative from below the Mason-Dixon line, but a certain effeminate, never-been-married […]

Sarah Palin's 140-Character Response To "Goofball Media's" Damning Article? "Cake Ink," Duh!

File under YAWN:

Okay fine, so that Vanity Fair piece about how Sarah Palin is really some sort of temper-tantrum throwing monster who doesn’t even write her own tweets(!), was sort of poorly sourced (albeit still fun!), but that doesn’t make it any less damning does it?

The answer is no, no it most certainly does not!

Even […]

True Love Never Dies, It Dresses Like Jehovah's Witnesses & Graces Gossip Magazine Covers

L is for Levi? Love? Lies?

Legend of the Snowy North and fearless leader of mama Grizzlies the world over, Sarah Palin awoke one Alaskan morning to quite a surprise from one of her own precious little cubs, whose lovable mug was splashed all over the lamestream tabloid Us Weekly announcing the wonderful, earth shattering news […]

Will RNC Replace Michael "Sexytime" Steele With The Even More Hilarious, Fool(proof) Sarah Palin?

The secret to soaring success in the Republican Party is all but guaranteed by following one of two surefire paths: bein’ a sexy hot mama with a killer bod, wicked aim, and all the wit and charm of a rabid hyena, with the brain power to match, or a freakishly ineffective, gaffe prone, bumbling black […]

OMG! Breaking News: Levi Johnston & Bristol Palin Are Back In Love, & Everything Bad He Said Was A Lie, Until Their Next Break Up

America’s favorite spurned, tell-all baby daddy and almost X-rated Alaskan answer to Scott Brown, hunky heartthrob Levi “Almost Showed My” Johnston wants you to know all those mean, terrible, private things he said about the Palins, specifically sweet matriarch Sarah Palin, were actually mere figments of his wild, teenage imagination and he’s deeply sorry for […]

Just Because His Name's Lindsey, He Talks With A Lisp, & Is A Life-Long Bachelor Doesn't Make Him A Gay...Or A Moderate Either!

Oooh, Senator Do Tell!

Justin Bieber look-alike Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) may be a mysterious cross between a middle aged lesbian and a tweenage heartthrob, but that doesn’t mean this baby-faced, sexually ambiguous good ol’ boy from South Carolina’s gonna start donning breeches and waistcoat and throwing back cups of freshly brewed English Breakfast, like the […]

Hillary Clinton Finally Gets The Hang Of Blowing Things...Like State Secrets On Ecuadorian TV!

Apparently, Hillary Clinton has learned the importance of blowing things every once in a while, because 12 years after a little reminder in the form of an eager, young intern named Monica, Hillrod has finally succumbed to the pressure and opened that nice mouth, big and wide.

Yes, Hilly blew it big time!

Turns out the usually […]