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Virginia Lawmakers Join North Carolina In Deciding Denial Is The Best Solution Because 'Rising Sea Levels' Are A 'Left-Wing Plot' To Not Murder Mother Earth

While crazed, bath salt-riddled zombies are eating people’s faces and the sanctity of heterosexual marriage continues its apocalyptic death spiral into the scary gay abyss, some people are worried about silly, trivial things like oh, I don’t know, the ocean crashing through their living room and turning their houses into floating pieces of wood and […]

Dead Man Walking: Scott Walker Survives Election Recall, Sadly The State Of Wisconsin Probably Won't

Do you feel the excitement America? If you have a cheese wheel on your head and a cheese curd in your hand, you do! It’s game time, Wisconsin!

Only a few more hours until bcherished Kochsucking Wisconsin crusher of hopes, dreams, and collective bargaining agreements Gov. Scott Walker is sent packing like the workers unions and […]

The White Stuff: Republicans In Pennsylvania Prove They Aren't Racist By Electing (Totally Not Racist) White Supremacist & Neo Nazi To GOP County Board

The absolutely, in-no-way-racist Republican Party in equally non-racist Luzerne County, Pennsylvania have decided to prove how awesomely non-racist they are by electing actual neo-Nazi and lifelong white supremacist Steve Smith (ha, no not that Steve Smith) to the county’s GOP Committee, thanks to the rabid support of the Teabaggers, who naturally also don’t have a […]

New Congressional Women’s Caucus Proves You Don't Have To Be A Man To Hate Women, You Just Have To Be Republican!

It’s no secret that the one thing women want more than anything else in the world is more government in their vaginas. Way, way deep, up there in their mother’s vaginas, in their daughter’s vaginas, in their great grandmother’s vaginas, and God & GOP willing, in every vagina across this great land, for […]

Obama May Not Make The Ballot In Arizona Because Arizona Doesn't Need A Reason To Be The Dumb, Racist, Backwater Hellhole Everyone Is Embarrassed Of

“I See Brown People!”

Bored with their usual antics of deporting frightened Mexican and Mexican-ish looking people and denying ladies sluts access to baby murdering apparatus birth control (yawn!), the fine citizens of Aryanzona have turned their short, sun-scorched attention to another pressing matter: the true birth origins of a certain illegal Socialist, half-black, […]

Rand Paul Doesn't Think Obama's Views On Marriage Could Get Any Gayer, Much Like His Skin Color Couldn't Get Any Blacker

If there’s one thing America simply cannot get enough of, it is the rich, racist, radical Kentucky-fried-son-of-a-wingnut whose not-so-evolved views on homosexuality and civil rights make even his ancient cryptkeeper father, Papa Ron, seem normal by comparison.

Almost.

Good thing Rand Paul will do whatever it takes, blurt whatever comes out of his big, white power […]

Michele Bachmann Knows Her Campaign Was "Mistake-Free" In The Same Way Her Husband Is Gay-Free

Michele, my (liberty) belle. How nice it must be to live in an alternate dimension, one where sexy, straight-as-pray-the-gay-away homosexual conversion therapists make the perfect hubbies (not to mention personal stylists!) and loony, pill-popping, Migraine-suffering (and inducing!), unhinged gaffe-magnets come thisclose to winning the Republican nomination courtesy of their near-flawless campaign.

Ignorance Psychosis is bliss, […]

Mitt Romney Sticks To His "It Gets Worse" Campaign, Bravely Allowing His Gay Adviser To Be Bullied Out Of His Job

Oh no-zees! Looks like the constant spew of homophobic outrage from the strictly heterosexual, not-at-all-suspiciously-anal-sex-obsessed closet cases on the right over Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser has worked its wondrous, sodomite-busting charms.

Apparently, the yelling was so loud about Mittens’ decision to hire a known homosexual to advise him on the GOP’s […]

Justice Antonin Scalia Never Met A Hunt He Didn't Like, Including Arizona's "Hunt Brown People" Law

Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans.

You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, […]

Republicans Commemorate Holocaust Remembrance Day By Reminding Jews That Anti-Semitism Is Alive & Well In The Republican Party (Unlike Jews!)

While Virginia Republican and self-hating Heeb Eric Cantor was coyly suggesting there might, might be a slight anti-semitism problem among House GOP members (you don’t say!?), fellow Republican wingnut from Virginia’s parasitic hell twin to the West, John Raese, was busy proving it by comparing his need to fill his lungs with Marlboro […]