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New Totally Non-Racist Ohio Ad Kindly Asks Black People To Vote For Mitt Romney Because Abraham Lincoln Freed The Slaves, Duh!

Wassup black people? This one stock photo black guy with a booming voice and weird Mormon-ish look about him has a MAJOR REVELATION for you, black Americans living in Ohio.

Now take off your Beats by Dre Headphones and listen because this is important (unlike say, you people, in non-election years).

It is a BIG […]

Dreams Of My Fatherland: Wingnut Arkansas Rep. Jon Hubbard Pens Tribute To Slavery & Nazism Proving Little Rock Isn't Just A Capital, But What's Between Their Ears

Arkansas Representative Jon Hubbard (R-Whitelandia) isn’t afraid to speak his mind, probably because eating paint chips was part of a balanced breakfast growing up in Arkansas.

Because much like other disturbed Hubbards before him, L. Jon Hubbard (The L stands for lunatic) has an unconventional way of looking at things, specifically the merits of slavery (hard […]

Big Head Tom & The (UN) Monsters In Lubbock County, Texas

Every Republican worth their weight in Texas T-Bones knows there is never, ever, EVER a reason to raise taxes on the good people of these United States of Jesus, so help them God.

Err, except one.

If for some reason that no-good, chocolatey-skinned NOBAMER feller were to win reelection, God forbid, and hand over the sovereignty of […]

Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

Texas GOP Bans 'Critical Thinking' In Schools Because Knowledge Is For Godless Commies & Queer Democrats (AKA All Non-Texas Residents)

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the huge, swinging cojones of the Grand Old Party in Grand Old Texas.

Hell, just look at their latest, greatest platform outlining the GOP’s brilliant (by Texas standards, retarded to everyone else) policies for 2012. Wait, or was it 1220? I can never remember!

Middle Aged men, the Middle Ages, is there […]

Shitty Montana GOP Convention Ironically Features Fake Bullet-Ridden "Obama Library" Porta-Potty, Parades Of People With Shit-For-Brains

HAW HAW HAW! The good citizens comedians of Missoula know the only thing “funnier” (in a tragic Montana sort of way) than having a black illegal secret Muslim Socialist from Kenya as President are hilarious pre-school level poo poo and pee pee jokes about him.

At Saturday’s Republican Party convention in Missoula, Montana, a few convention-goers […]

The White Stuff: Republicans In Pennsylvania Prove They Aren't Racist By Electing (Totally Not Racist) White Supremacist & Neo Nazi To GOP County Board

The absolutely, in-no-way-racist Republican Party in equally non-racist Luzerne County, Pennsylvania have decided to prove how awesomely non-racist they are by electing actual neo-Nazi and lifelong white supremacist Steve Smith (ha, no not that Steve Smith) to the county’s GOP Committee, thanks to the rabid support of the Teabaggers, who naturally also don’t have a […]

Mitt Romney Must Have Confused 'Big Love' With 'Brotherly Love' Because He Somehow Ended Up In West Philadelphia

Innnnnn West Philadelphia, born and raised, on a playground is where I spent most of my days…

Hahaha, just playing, as the cool kids like to say these days. As if Willard “Mitt” Mittens Romney VIII would ever step a single freshly-shined shoe on one of those cement poor peoples’ slabs to bounce balls and play […]

Obama May Not Make The Ballot In Arizona Because Arizona Doesn't Need A Reason To Be The Dumb, Racist, Backwater Hellhole Everyone Is Embarrassed Of

“I See Brown People!”

Bored with their usual antics of deporting frightened Mexican and Mexican-ish looking people and denying ladies sluts access to baby murdering apparatus birth control (yawn!), the fine citizens of Aryanzona have turned their short, sun-scorched attention to another pressing matter: the true birth origins of a certain illegal Socialist, half-black, […]

Rand Paul Doesn't Think Obama's Views On Marriage Could Get Any Gayer, Much Like His Skin Color Couldn't Get Any Blacker

If there’s one thing America simply cannot get enough of, it is the rich, racist, radical Kentucky-fried-son-of-a-wingnut whose not-so-evolved views on homosexuality and civil rights make even his ancient cryptkeeper father, Papa Ron, seem normal by comparison.

Almost.

Good thing Rand Paul will do whatever it takes, blurt whatever comes out of his big, white power […]