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While the rest of (fake) America guzzled beer and stuffed brats into their mouths, the nation’s #1 favoritest patriot rumbled through Washington DC perched atop a badass Harley Davidson because nothing’s more appropriate than Sarah Palin kicking off her presidential tour riding bitch on the back of a gas guzzlin’ Hog. That’s right, folks! In honor [...] You remember Aaron Schock don’t you? The fuchsia gingham shirt-wearing, straight-as-your-hairdresser Republican congressman from Illinois who simply adores voting against the rights of poors, gays, and all other dumb, pathetic schlubs who don’t spend endless hours breathing heavily next to other, sweaty, scantily-clad men all while working to perfect their very own ripped set of [...] Ginni Thomas, the loyal lobbyist Teabagging wife of Supremely silent and Supremely sexy Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her professional journey of weird, quasi-legal, likely immoral influence-peddling conservative jobs, most recently accepting the not-at-all interest conflicting “special correspondent” position at the appropriately special needs wingnut website, The Daily Caller. Hooray? That’s [...] Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly has a question: “A man beats a 100 pound woman into a coma over a parking space. He claims she deserves it. Could he be right? In Kelly’s Court!” I don’t know, could he be right? Wait, did you say it was over a parking space? So, umm, in that case, [...] What is with the Jews these days? The damn yids just cannot stop forcing otherwise renowned, well-respected, wealthy, international middle-aged men (of mystery), notably John Galliano and Julian Assange, to say terrible, bigoted, ignorant things about them in bars, interviews, and other public places vicious anti-Semitic rants are typically discouraged. Apparently, killing Christ just wasn’t enough [...] It is no secret Sarah Louise Palin rules the Internets and all things related to it, including ghostwritten 140-character Tweets of indecipherable gibberish no one understands, except Twits, Twats, ‘n Tweens, like say, the original runner up vice-presidential loser/half-term governor and her brood of fellow fame grubbing, ridiculously-named grifters. So it should come as no surprise [...] Much like America’s most fair and balanced network, Fox News, America’s favoritest, most trustworthy newspaper, the National Enquirer is internationally renowned for its unique ability to occasionally accurately break a real, live news story (that doesn’t involve UFOs, aliens or John Edwards’ man-seed) out of every, oh, I don’t know, 100 or so, it reports. So [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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