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Missouri Congressman, GOP Senate candidate, and living proof of the theory of devolution, Todd Akin knows a few things about the female anatomy, particularly when it comes to the magical powers of women’s reproductive systems, which if you didn’t know, are able to transform into vaginal panic rooms in case of emergencies, like rape. Because while you […] When not condemning the poor and old to a life of never-ending misery, baggy-clothed fitness buff and fiscal sociopath Paul Ryan (R-P90x) is learning the hard way the perils of being an insufferable hypocrite, a walking contradiction, The Man. Turns out not everyone appreciates Republican VP candidate Paul Ryan’s taste in music, namely Tom Morello, lead […]
Nothing, I say, nothing says ‘heterosexual’ more than a bronzed man in a pink button down with his sleeves rolled up three-quarters, trying (*and failing) to light a box of “homosexual” Cheerios on fire to protest General Mills’ pro-marriage equality stance, which much like another man, he simply cannot get behind! “One out of […] Howdy, Ame-rik-A! Do you know what special day it is today? Why, it’s Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, when thousands of Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) waddle, plod, trudge, and motorscoot their supersized behinds to the nearest drive-thru window to stick it to the queers and stuff chicken sandwiches down their throats, for Jesus. I […] If there’s one person who appreciates a fast food company that sticks to their butter-slathered buns when it comes to discrimination, it is former/current fat person Mike Huckabee. It’s not just the delectably breaded, pickle-topped, fried chicken(ish) sandwiches or those deliciously greasy, salty waffle fries that’s got Huckabee Huckahooked, but the delectably batsh*t, homophobic ramblings of […] Somewhere in America, a real flesh-based human being rolled out of bed, and decided today would be a good day to send out the following tweet: Elsewhere in America, specifically, a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, a deranged 24-year-old dressed in all black wearing a riot helmet, face mask, and bullet-proof vest burst into the midnight […]
It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered. No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!). Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […] Coyote-and-criminal-killing governor of drunken idiocy Texas, Rick Perry, is not about to stand back and watch while his fellow wingnut governors from equally awful, deadbeat states steal all his thunder by rejecting the big, bad gubmint’s evil plans to expand Medicaid and help insure millions of Texans without access to medical coverage. Aww, hell no! You […] |
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