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Finally, a Christmas story we can all get behind! It’s been awhile since one of America’s fabulous, self-loathing, Republican closet cases accidentally outed himself by getting caught in some secret gay sexytime scandal (we’re talking months here!), until a dandy Southern gent/failed Congressional candidate/wingnut mayor of Southaven, Mississippi by the name of Greg Davis forgot about [...] Pop quiz: What does a failed, anti-gay, conservative Christian politician do two years after losing his 2009 campaign to become Alabama’s newest, craziest, wingnut governor? If you guessed embark on a lesbian-impregnating rampage in New Zealand, despite his own homophobic past and without the knowledge of his two-time Mrs. America finalist wife, give yourself a round [...] Minnesota hellwoman and (un)equal rights warrior Michele Bachmann is no stranger to fighting for the little people, those least able to speak for themselves, like the li’l fairy living inside Marcus and the various insane voices living inside her head. Which is why Michele is working hard to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans [...] Congratulations, America! The moment we’ve all been waiting for—and Republicans have been warning us about—is finally here, and it’s most definitely queer. At the stroke of midnight on Tuesday, the terrible, nearly two decades old discriminatory policy banning gays and lezzies from being all they can be as loud ‘n proud members of the U.S. military [...] In these contentious times, there are only so many uncontroversial statements a person can make that pretty much everyone can agree with, like say, “cancer is a terrible disease” or “kicking defenseless puppies in the face is wrong” or “the abuse of children is a terrible thing.” Umm, wait, except that last one, if you’re evil, [...] OMG, people, GAY is now officially legal in New York! They’re here, they’re queer, and they’re coming to a gift registry near you! Now that New York has reclaimed the mantle of progress and equality from it’s once-hip, now tragically Mormon, Prop 8 populated friend, California, and become the sixth state to give those pesky gays the [...] Now that Michele Bachmann has officially tossed her hat into the presidential ring as the latest, greatest Republican to humiliate themselves on national teevee, make Mitt Romney look electable, get crushed by Obama in the general elections, America can rest easy knowing that the good Lord Jesus Christ will guide His chosen candidate, everyone’s favorite [...] Newt Gingrich sure has had a tough week! First, poor ol’ Newt was forced to apologize to Wisconsin Republican Rep. Paul Ryan for calling Ryan’s insane, screw-the-old-people budget “radical” (which it is), and explain to one enraged Teabagger after another how terribly sorry he is for his meany words, almost as terribly sorry that it all [...] Uganda’s enlightened 15th century 21st century bill condemning terrible, no-good gays & lezzies, and all “active homosexuals living with HIV” to death (and probably not by chocolate!) or at the very least, life imprisonment for anyone known to participate in “homosexual acts,” has been temporarily shelved, and only partially because it is batsh*t [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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