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Open Wide… Well, well now isn’t this just rich. Fabulous, really! Weird, self-loathing closet case, former Republican National Committee chair, George Bush’s 2004 campaign manager, and pretty much the policy equivalent of the AIDS virus on the LGBT community, Ken Mehlman has ever so graciously decided to spare the American people the suspense and come out [...] OMG, get your tuxes out, (gay) ladies and gentleman who reside in the soon-to-be same-sex cesspool of sin & sodomy of Gayifornia! A week after permanently destroying the moral fabric of America with one stroke of his Prop 8-killing gavel, Judge Vaughn Walker, elitist liberal activist Judge Vaughn Walker has struck at the heart of hetero [...] Are you a self-hating fag or dyke who enjoys getting heckled, harassed, mistreated, discriminated and/or all around abused by the wonderful homophobic (closeted?), fear-mongering, hate-spewing, queer-bashing nutjobs on the right? If so, then boy do we have the the event for you! For the bargain price of one pair of Gucci shoes, (or if you’re more of [...] The Jesus Christ moral patrol on the right and assorted other Earthly messengers of God are always prattling on and on about how wicked gays are sashaying across America trying to gay marry and gay soldier, and basically spread their gross gayness on decent, upstanding straights from San Francisco to Soho. This aggression cannot stand! Before we [...] Born again non-morbidly obese person Mike Huckabee has taken a hiatus from his previous job scarfing down double bacon cheeseburgers as the 400 lbs+ ex-Governor of Arkansas, to sit down with one of the hoity-toity, arugula-eating elitist magazines he’s always shrieking ’bout at his current gig spewing nonsense for Fox News, to discuss some [...] On this darkest of days when freedom died all because evil, liberal lawmakers threatening to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell went ahead and did just that, voting 16-12 to let deviant homosexuals come ever closer to openly serving as an out ‘n proud queer in the United States military, A Few Good Men are bravely [...] OMG! Did you hear the amazing, Earth-shattering news? Barack Obama has finally given the ol’ presidential stamp of approval on a compromise to repeal the Pentagon’s wonderful “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, which effectively bars gross gay people from risking their pathetic, sinful lives and serve in the United States military, like the rest of [...] Surprise! California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a vehemently anti-gay, family values Republican father of four, who’s voted against every gay rights measure in the State Senate since taking office, including recognizing out-of-state same-sex marriages, Harvey Milk Day and expanding anti-discrimination laws (ya know, for the children!), has a dirty little secret of his own: he’s a [...] Wow, America you should be swelling with pride. And by pride, I naturally mean the flamboyant, rainbowy gay kind. That’s because for the first time in the history of mankind and/or public opinion polls, less Americans think homosexuality is a morally repugnant abomination against the Lord than do. And it only took 238 [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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