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Illinois House Approves Same-Sex Marriage, Proving The State's Bankruptcy Is Limited To Money Not Morals

Rejoice, America because Illinois could become the tenth state (11th including Washington, DC) to join the 21st century and extend gays and lesbians the right to to be as miserable and undersexed as the rest of straight America in holy, blessed matrimony, likely followed by bitter divorce.

The same-sex marriage bill, which passed the senate two […]

Traditionally Dumb Indiana High School Teacher Demands Traditional Prom Free From Gross Gay Kids

Ooooh look, America, another day, another crazy Christian crusadin’ against them darn gays and lezzies! But don’t get mad at her for hatin’ on the hell-bound homosexuals and their deviant lifestyles, get mad at God for making them that way.

You know, deep, sensitive, progressive, fashion-forward, freshly groomed and all the other terrible ways […]

Supreme Court To Decide If Gays Deserve To Be As Miserable & Undersexed As The Rest Of America

Hooray homosexuals, the magical time has come! The Supreme Court has finally decided to hear your queer cases about all the queer things you gays do, like gay serve in the military and get gay-married, in the hopes of maybe one day being treated like a normal, non-gay citizen of the United States […]

Duck, Duck, Gay? Homeschooled Teen Girl Wisely Teaches World That Evolution Turns Gay People Into Ducks

Donald & Daffy Not Donald & Ronald!

Are you a good, Jesus-loving Christian who fears the heathen public school system will turn your once-innocent child into a raging homosexual liberal who believes in crazy things like science and history?

Yes? Then do we have the education solution for you, my friend! It’s called homeschooling and […]

Americans Flock To Chick-Fil-A To Show Their Appreciation Of Adam & Eve And Adult-Onset Diabetes

Howdy, Ame-rik-A! Do you know what special day it is today? Why, it’s Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, when thousands of Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) waddle, plod, trudge, and motorscoot their supersized behinds to the nearest drive-thru window to stick it to the queers and stuff chicken sandwiches down their throats, for Jesus.

I […]

Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

What The Cluck, Huck? Mike Huckabee Gets Behind Chick-Fil-A's Anti-Gay CEO (But Not In A Gay Way)

If there’s one person who appreciates a fast food company that sticks to their butter-slathered buns when it comes to discrimination, it is former/current fat person Mike Huckabee.

It’s not just the delectably breaded, pickle-topped, fried chicken(ish) sandwiches or those deliciously greasy, salty waffle fries that’s got Huckabee Huckahooked, but the delectably batsh*t, homophobic ramblings of […]

Utah's GOP Chair's Awful, Illiterate Wife Reminds The Nation Why You Should Never Let A Gay On The Ballot Or Get An Education In Utah

Fred Karger, you know, the openly gay Republican who is still “running” for president (adorable, right?) even though everyone knows the only gay Republicans who exist are the secret, self-hating, hiding-in-Marcus-Bachmann’s-closet kind.

Well, apparantly Fred didn’t get the memo that his Grand Old Party of bigots and hypocrites don’t much care for him or the rest […]

The Kids Are All Right, Just Not This Freaky 14-Year-Old Homophobic Radio Host From West Virginia

Kids these days! When not pouring liquor into their eyeballs or guzzling bottles of hand sanitizer while planking off a guard rail 50 stories in the air, they’re doing CRAZY things like, oh I don’t know, coming to terms with their own scary, confusing (anything-but-homo)sexuality.

Like 14-year-old West Virginian and Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Pope Pius […]

Rand Paul Doesn't Think Obama's Views On Marriage Could Get Any Gayer, Much Like His Skin Color Couldn't Get Any Blacker

If there’s one thing America simply cannot get enough of, it is the rich, racist, radical Kentucky-fried-son-of-a-wingnut whose not-so-evolved views on homosexuality and civil rights make even his ancient cryptkeeper father, Papa Ron, seem normal by comparison.

Almost.

Good thing Rand Paul will do whatever it takes, blurt whatever comes out of his big, white power […]