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Mitt Romney Knows Corporations Are People Too, Which Is Why He Is Officially Registered As A Limited Liability Person

In these trying economic times when money is scarce, jobs even scarcer, and rational behavior crushed and ground into deliciously nutty human tea bags, where o where will we find a presidential candidate fearless enough to stand up for the rights of the biggest victims of all, the poor, sad, helpless, mega-corporations?

Look no further than […]

Fox News Outraged That Barack Obama Had The Nerve To Invite Black People As Guests, Not Servers, To His Birthday Party

While the economy continued its downward hell spiral thanks to Standard & Poor’s (really, that’s the best name you could come up with? Really?) very responsible decision to downgrade America’s debt and grind it into highly toxic, spite-flavored tea leaves for Republican enjoyment, Fox News was busy thinking up the most offensive, racist headline their […]

Hooray! America's Downfall Is Officially Postponed As House Passes Awful Debt Deal Everyone Hates

Rejoice, my fellow Americans, the Debtpocalypsegeddon is almost over! America is back on top (of its flaming pile of unpaid bills, bounced checks, borrowed loans, crumpled receipts, IOUs, and angry post-it threats from China!) Woohoo! USA#1! USA#1! USA#1!

After weeks of alternately fucking with, psyching out, and pissing off President Obama by acting like a bunch […]

What Do You Call A Massive Boehner Who Laughs At The Total Collapse Of Our Economy? Speaker Of The House, Of Course!

It’s Monday in America, meaning it’s a brand new week for the very mature adults in Congress to flitter about like special needs schoolchildren, while our nation teeters towards the brink of catastrophic self-induced collapse.

Hooray!?

Of course, being the mature, weeping, unnaturally orange-tinted Republican House Speaker that he is, John Boehner has naturally decided to stop […]

Some Things Never Change: Like Eric Cantor Being A Smug, Greedy, Li'l Bastard Everybody Hates

And the winner of the screw you, sniveling weasel, economy be damned, willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead, shameless, narcissistic, prick award goes to….

“I want what I want when I want it.”
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s high school yearbook quote.

Apparently, Eric Ivan Cantor wanted the same thing he wants now: to whine […]

Yay! Michigan Republicans Bravely Solve Budget Deficit By Forcing Foster Kids To Wear Thrift Store Clothes Like The Poor, Parentless Schlubs They Are

Much like fellow brokeass Midwestern hell-state being destroyed by a psycho Republican governor with a deep-seated hatred of poor people, Wisconsin, Michigan too is facing a serious budget crisis with a deficit of $1.4 billion, largely thanks to those greedy, money-grubbing teachers and plumbers unions always demandin’ fair wages and basic health coverage.

And much like […]

General Electric: Proudly Leading The Way In Evading Corporate Taxes Since The 1970s

It’s funny, the things people care about wouldn’tcha say? Like how, despite evidence, facts, and an actual live certificate of birth, a whole segment of the population (typically the toothless white trash trailer park type) still refuses to believe a one Barack Hussein Obama was born anywhere but deepest darkest Africa if he was even […]

Money Talks! Fake David Koch Prank Caller Discusses How Best To Crush Unions With Real Gov. Scott Walker. Their Answer: Baseball Bats!

Heartless, union-whacking Monster of the Midwest, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, is up to his neck in angry mobs of no-good, money sucking labor unions protestin’ his brave new plan to restore fiscal sanity to Wisconsin by rolling back collective bargaining rights and reducing already meager salaries of police, firefighters, teachers and other freeloadin’ public employees […]

President Obama Unveils 2012 Budget, Which Republicans Vow To Fund Using Glenn Beck's Gold-Plated Coins, Pixie Dust, & Rosary Beads

President Barack Obama is positively hellbent on “Winning the Future” and in his crazy, radical, hippie-dippie, elitist, Socialist, Muslim, Terrorist world, that entails doing crazy, radical things like making sure America’s kids are educated enough to read, write, and at the very least, spell their offensive, racist protest signs properly, and demanding that U.S. multinational […]

This Is The Kind Of Change That Makes You Feel All Dirty & Democratic Inside

President Barack Obama took to the teevee to do what he does best, other than nailing mid range jump shots: nailing liberal Democrats and their terrible no-good liberal Democratic policies in order to defend his perfectly good reasoning for bending over striking a compromise with congressional Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts for […]