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Minnesota GOP Is So Fiscally Conservative, They've Decided To Stop The Whole "Paying Rent" Thing & Join The Rest Of America By Getting Evicted Instead!

If there’s one thing the Republican Party is good at, it is talking about how good they are at all things money-related, more specifically, taking your hard-earned money and spending it on worthwhile things like strippers and smart bombs, not wasteful things like say,  poor people or a year’s worth of rent for their Party […]

Mitt Romney Is "Not Concerned About The Very Poor," Nor Apparently Winning Anything But The Hatred Of 99% Of America

Ah Mittens. Fresh off a most undeserved and uninspired victory over a gelatinous blob of ethical lapses and abandoned wives in the Florida Republican primary, Willard “Mitt” Romney proceeded to promptly squander all momentum and break the Golden Rule of presidential politics: pretend not to be the cold, heartless, asshole you really are.

Whoopsies!

You see, to […]

Poll: Fox News Viewers Less Informed Than Those Who Read No News; Which Is Weird Because Fox News Hosts Believe Pepper Spray Is A "Food Product, Essentially"

OMG, did you hear the crazy, Earth-shattering, mind-blowing news? No, no not that fat, crazed, out-of-control cops are pepper-spraying college students eyeballs out, macing old ladies, stomping on peaceful protesters, billy clubbing defenseless women and children, and bloodying the faces of law-abiding citizens in every major city around the country. The other headline-busting story about […]

It's Halloween In (Corporate) America! Do You Have Your Homeless Person Costume Yet?

When you think of the perfect Halloween costume, usually the first thing that comes to mind is something that really captures the terrifying reality and unimaginable desperation of homeless people, with no food to eat, clothes to wear, or even a roof over their heads. Because, seriously, what makes you want to dive into a […]

The Only Difference Between The Tea Party & Occupy Wall Street Is 235 Years Of Progress

So the Tea Party & Occupy Wall Street movements are not that different? OMG, so true! Just take away the inability to formulate a coherent sentence, add the ability to still move your massive, diabetic body with your own two legs, not the reinforced rubber wheels of your Socialist Medicare motor scooter, toss in your […]

The Only Thing Scarier Than Mobs Of Crazed, Gun-Waving Teabaggers Are Mobs Of Polite, Hand-Waving Tea Drinkers

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (no, no, not whatever it is that’s beneath Rick Perry’s perfectly combed, thick brown coif) or have simply been too busy following Sarah Palin’s earth-shattering announcement not to continue duping dumb white people out of their hard-earned money in her ridiculous faux presidential ponzi scheme/grifter bus tour, chances […]

Multi-Millionaire Republicans Simply Cannot Afford Obama’s Socialist Rich People Tax

While Republicans, like Louisiana Rep. John Fleming, were busy whining about how $6.3 million a year just ain’t what it used to be (I mean who do you have to screw to get some freakin’ foie gras around here!?), President of Socialism, Barack Obama, was busy concocting his evil plan to reduce the ballooning deficit […]

President Obama Agrees To Reduce Smog Regulations Because Clean Air Is Socialist (And Also Because Republicans Told Him So!)

So the inane, demented, “Are We Congressman or Kindergarteners” playground scuffle time slot slug fest between the White House and John Boehner’s office is now officially over, with Barack Obama giving up even faster than usual in some lame misguided attempt to placate his Grand Old enemies, who’d like nothing more than to ship him […]

What Do You Call 11,062 Square Feet Of Unparalleled Mormon Luxury? Mitt Romney's Big Love Shack!

OMG, did you hear the terrible, Earth-shattering news? No, no not that Slick Rick Perry has entered the Presidential race in a noble attempt to destroy restore America to its wonderful Antebellum glory. Something far, far more sinister!

President Barack Obama has just embarked on his third consecutive annual family vacation to Martha’s Vineyard, in August, […]

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes, They Kill Federal Reserve Chairmen!

Heil Jesus?

Memo to Rick Perry: Don’t hold your arm like that. Especially at a podium with a microphone in front of a crowd. I mean seriously. Don’t even let your arm do that for a second. Not even one second. Just a suggestion.

Then again, Slick Rick was never one to take advice from anyone. That’s […]