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Salty New York Rep. Eric Massa Resigns Due To Either Real Cancer Or Gay Cancer

Uh-Oh, another one bites the dust.Now, normally when you hear a congressman has decided to call it quits amid a sordid sex scandal, one naturally assumes that for a Republican this likely means a little same-sex monkey business, while for a Democrat, more likely than not it involves the good kind of infidelity, namely the […]

Obama Takes On House Leader Who Glows & Senile Former Foes During Final Health Care Throes

Nothing makes for must-see teevee like seven straight hours of shouting, incoherent back-and-forths about wonky health care reform particulars, like how many poor, pathetic Americans the new bill in Congress could help not die, if the lovely men and women elected to represent them even remotely cared about silly statistics like preventable deaths.

But since they […]

Great Scott! Anything Can Happen When Brown Turns Blue...

Oh no, the end is near! Republican Great White Hope, one-time nude model, Scott Brown, who was supposed to ride his freedom truck to Washington, DC to save America from its socialist death slide, has instead voted with the tyrannical Democratic majority to destroy a Republican filibuster of the terrible, new $15 billion ‘Jobs Bill’ […]

GOP Grudgingly Agrees To Not Obstruct For One Whole Televised Hour

Boohoo, boohoo!

The sweet, cooperative, sincere Republican leaders, trying their very hardest to help bring jobs and health care reform to the poor, suffering insurance companies American people, just can’t catch a break from that Bully Barry and his unruly gang of bloodthirsty Demoncrats. Meanies!

Every time they come thisclose to grinding President Obama’s terrible, socialist agenda […]

The "Winners" In Illinois’ Elections May Not Be Clear, But The Losers Sure Are!

Ay, Illinoizzzzzz how you doin’?

Eh, not so well, if you happen to be a resident, concerned citizen, recently elected politician, or just a regular Joe who simply would like to have one elected official not also be a deranged lunatic with a shady past and a rap sheet the size of Rod Blagojevich’s stylish coif.

In […]

What About Us?? Obama Assures Neglected Dems He Loves Them Too (In Spite of Being Massive Failures)

Jealous that the Socialist president everybody despises but secretly wants to jump into bed with, Barack Obama, spent some Quality Time alone with the terrible House Republicans during their group sex therapy rehab session policy retreat, the Democrats are now demanding Barry come to their powwow and bash them for being a bunch of pussy […]

Barack Obama’s State of the Union: Put Up or Shut Up! Please??

Well folks, it’s been one whole year since Barack Obama rode a wave of hope and goodwill to become America’s first semi-colored president before disappointing us all with the harsh reality that he is not in fact Superman, and as such, does not have the magical ability to don a cape and instantly wipe […]

Why Won’t Dems Just Pretend Health Care is Nintendo and Press the Reset Button?

OMG, why didn’t we think of this sooner? The Republicans’ ingenious new strategy is so brilliant in its sheer simplicity that it only needs two letters to sum it up entirely: N-O.

It’s true! Much like their old approach of lies, obstruction, and manipulation, the new, improved GOP message has evolved and refined itself over time […]

The Democrats Brilliant New Health Care Strategy: Abandon Ship!

Well here’s a new, terrible idea about how to proceed on health care that makes no sense, meaning it is only a matter of time before the lovely Democrats decide to run with it, full steam ahead!

In the wake of the Dems’ embarrassing defeat at the hands of a Cosmo centerfold turned teabagging sensation in […]

Is Scott Brown the White, Naked Version of Barack Obama the GOP’s Been Waiting For?

Hahahahahahaha!!

What’s that you hear? Oh, just the agonizing cries of Teddy Kennedy from six feet under as he watches his life’s work be ripped to shreds by a male prostitute model who loves tea. Or is it bags?

Either way, the important thing here is that Massachusetts has taken a stand against America’s precarious slide toward […]