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Teabaggers Launch Brilliant Counter BUYcott To Show Their Support For Aryanzona's New 'Bye, Bye Brown People' Law

Over the weekend, obese, greasy-haired, middle-aged white men, Ben Franklin-dressed human bags o’ caffeinated herbs ‘n spice, and assorted other ‘Jesus Saves’ t-shirt wearing, toothless patriots of freedom descended on glorious Aryanzona to show support for the state’s new Nazi immigration law, SB-1070, prohibiting brown people from sullying their beautiful parched landscape, by even so […]

Much Like The Dodo Bird & The GOP, Don't Ask Don't Tell May Soon Be Relegated To Museums' Extinct Relics Collections

OMG! Did you hear the amazing, Earth-shattering news? Barack Obama has finally given the ol’ presidential stamp of approval on a compromise to repeal the Pentagon’s wonderful “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, which effectively bars gross gay people from risking their pathetic, sinful lives and serve in the United States military, like the rest of […]

The GOP's Spectacular Special Election Failure, Round One (Of Many)

Oh sweet Jesus, this feels good! After months of agonizing GOP shrieks and wild bonfire dancing over the Democrats all-but-certain election Obamageddon, thanks to all the alleged GOP momentum following Scott Brown’s birthday suit surprise victory in Massachusetts, the time has come to laugh, baby laugh your liberal elitist arugula-eating asses off at what happens […]

Harry Reid's Dirty, Sexy Thoughts On Republicans' Dirty, Sexy, Money

Frustrated over the excruciatingly slow, molasses-like pace of financial reform in the Senate, courtesy of the Grand Obstructionist Party’s reluctance to so much as even open debate (it only took three separate tries!) or move forward in any way, shape, or form (progress is evil!), sweet talkin’ senate majority leader “Dirty” Harry Reid blasted the […]

GOP Bands Together To Form Wall Of "No" To Preserve Their Favorite Wall Of "Ye$"

Oh No, Not Again!

New “bipartisan” financial legislation, supported by the vast majority of poor, hardworking losers like you and me, to help reign in Wall Street and put an end to not-at-all-selfish, bad-mortgage derivatives and other “fun” number games used by major banks to bet against their own investors, and screw over the […]

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Biggest Beltway Whore Of All?

With the Grand Old Party of family values and straight, missionary-style sex only, feelin’ the burning red heat over the latest Republican donor scandal involving the usual multi-thousand dollar spending sprees at various, upscale bondage-themed Lezzy clubs, the real question on everyone’s mind is which of our esteemed two political parties (of honor, integrity, and […]

GOP Tries New, Mature Approach: Biting Their Nose To Spite Their Face

Oops, Reality Must Have Caught Mitch Off Guard Again!

Wah Wah! No fair! She hit me first! He pulled my hair! Wah Wah!

Like everything else they handle so impressively well, the Republicans’ uncanny ability to face facts and accept defeat like mature, responsible adults elected by the people to represent the people, was in full effect […]

Barackalypse Now: Teabaggers Lose Their Minds, While The Rest Of Us Get Health Care!

While our evil commander in chief rolls through DC with his tyrannical posse of limo-ridin’ hookers, hos, and enough health care votes to go around en route to his victory party tonight, the really BIG news was that a couple hundred anti-Semites, homophobes, Neo-Nazis, and straight up Jim Crow lovin’ […]

Holy Duo Glenn Beck & Steve King Know Health Care Vote On Sacred Sunday Means A Beautiful Angel Will Die

Rep. Steve King Doin’ God’s Work Per Usual

With the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) dropping the ATOMIC BOMB that the DEMONcrats’ evil health care reform bill will reduce the deficit by $130 billion over the next ten years ($1.2 trillion over 20 years), and extend coverage to 32 million currently uninsured Americans, the dominoes […]

Salty, Straight Rep. Eric Massa Doesn’t Enjoy Steamy Showers With "Satan’s Spawn" Rahm Emanuel

Salty sailor and socialist sex monster Rep. Eric Massa is finally setting the record straight (ha ha, straight) on his whole real cancer/gay cancer resignation scandal that sent shock waves across the world Page Six of the New York Post.

Turns out, New York’s own Eric Massa is a totally normal, red-blooded, fiercely heterosexual American man […]