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Long-faced loser President Barack EMObama moped around the White House yesterday, making his obligatory big post-election press conference about how bad it feels to get shellacked, before putting on his old Bulls sweatsuit, plopping on the West Wing couch and stuffing his face with arugula chips and Ben & Jerry’s for the next two years […]
Okay, so 18 looooong, haaaaard months have gone by since President Barack Obama took the oath of office and half the country collectively lost their minds, suddenly afflicted with a severe case of Obama Derangement Syndrome, where once seemingly normal citizens morph into shrieking mobs of obese white supremacists, with bad hygiene and greasy hair, […]
OMG! Guess what little gay and lezzy monsters across America?? Your little “rights” struggles are over! Done, dunzo, finito, Ga-Ga-gonzo!
Oh, wait never mind, you’re all still totally screwed, despite Lady Gaga donning a hotttt meat dress, and p-p-p-poking her face all around Maine, trying to convince the last two “moderate” (aka not completely insane) Senator […]
Permanent droopy faced Downercraticandipendent Sen. Joe Lieberman never met a terrible idea he didn’t love, or missed the chance to play spoiler and screw everyone over on some important issue or another. It’s his raison d’être!
When you’re the intentionally annoying, token backstabbing leper, unwelcome in either party, you do whatever you can to stay relevant, […]
Ugh, like make up your mind already, America! Last week, Democrats were supposed to be on their Obama-made(?) death beds after a generic Gallup poll showed Republicans taking a record-setting 10-point lead, putting them in prime position to retake the House of Representatives and enact all of the fabulous ideas they’ve had, like […]
If You Build It, They Won’t Come!
Hooray, America! Congress has saved the nation from the menacing brown threat streaming uncontrollably in from the sun ‘n drug-soaked south to steal our jobs, sex-up our supple wives & daughters, and show us dumb gringos how a real Salsa Verde is made.
So now that Congress has passed this […]
Democratic congressional leaders happily hover around President Barack Obama as he signs the Dodd-Frank financial regulatory reform bill, giving the big, bad government sweeping oversight powers to regulate just how much Big Business/Wall Street is allowed to screw over dumb, everyday schmucks like you and me. Which, as it turns out, is not so much […]
Oh look, 24 hours have passed since terrible Democrats voted in favor of financial reform, which means glowing orange House Minority Leader John Boehner should have endorsed some new, untenable policy in bad faith, umm, about twenty minutes ago at least!
And like the total boner he is, he did not disappoint. His brilliant idea, […]
After holding up financial regulatory reform several times to umm, help make the bill more big-bank friendly and less common-citizen friendly like a good, real Republican, Scott Brown, the former Cosmo cover model turned faux teabagger turned Massachusetts Senator has finally agreed to stop being such a Grand Old Prick, and support the darn bill, […]
Well done, South Carolina, well done! You have surpassed even the lowest, most pathetic expectations to solidify a sullied hallowed place in South Carolina’s great political hall of shame.
This is no small feat! Especially in good ol’ South Carolina, where Republican governors hike Appalachian Trails to wild extra-marital sex with hot Argentine mistresses, sexy Republican […]
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