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Anthony Weiner's Weiner Still Works, Is Still All Over The Internet, & Is Still A Big, Throbbing Distraction

Another day, another pathetic, sadsack politician feeling the heat because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, or in this case, off Andrew Breitbart’s pervy iPhone.

And this time, the no-longer-contained-in-boxer-briefs weiner in question belongs to none other than aptly named New York congressman Anthony Weiner, who apparently managed to put his wonderful, web-cruising weiner in […]

Don't Worry America, Congress Will Still Get Paid During Government Shutdown Over Ladies & Their Lady Parts

Just in case you were concerned about how Michele Bachmann, John Boehner, John McCain, Joe Wilson, that Nelson nutjob from Nebraska, and all the rest of the lunatic wingnuts comprising America’s esteemed 112th Congress are going to survive the Great Government Shutdown of 2011, fear not my friends! They can still get paid, and probably […]

Another Day, Another Weeping Orange Boehner Wets Himself For No Reason

Democrats and Republicans might be on the verge of shutting down the big, bad gubmint (hooray?) due to some alleged financial dispute, but beloved members of both of our nation’s dumb political parties can at least still agree on one thing: even House Speaker John Boehner’s inappropriate, borderline hysterical booze tears won’t be enough […]

Rahmin' It Home, Biatches! There's A New Big (Chicago Style Hot) Dog In Town

Notorious Windy City gangster Rahm “9 fingers” Emanuel easily cruised his way to winning the most freakin’ corrupt job in American politics, as the newest, latest, greatest Mayor-For-Life-Not-Named-Daley of the great city of Chicago.

Awww, hells yeah!

After a grueling race, which saw Rahm temporarily booted off the ballot before threatening to put his boot
down the appellate […]

Tough Guy Rahm Emanuel Kicked Off Chicago Mayoral Ballot By F**king Appellate Court; Unlike Jay Cutler, Rahmbo Refuses To Go Down Without A Fight!

OMG Chicago, did you hear da awful, terrible, no-good news??

No, no, not that Bears QB Jay Cutler might have torn his MCL along with the entire state of Illinois’ heart out of its chest before pouting cold and alone on the sidelines in Sunday’s painful loss to the hated, rival Green Bay Packers.

The other no-good, […]

Deck The Halls With Greed & Sorrow, Santa Clause-Killing Repubs Are Coming To Town!

Forget the pesky equal-rights demanding gays or the gross poors, this time the ever-righteous, morally pure Grand Old Prophets of Divinity here on Earth have turned their seething, beautifully white hot, perfectly rational rage towards a much more cunning adversary: the Godless n’er-do-well Democrats.

Ugh, the nerve of those bastards trying to actually get critical legislation […]

Lessons In Fierce: Don't Ask Don't Tell Repeal In Senate As Dead As Republicans' Sense Of Decency & Justice

Pump up the Gaga, gays and gals who like gals! Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid finally went ahead with a a cloture vote on the defense spending bill, a procedural move effectively allowing a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell to come to the floor for debate, though fortunately not gay and lesbian soldiers […]

This Is The Kind Of Change That Makes You Feel All Dirty & Democratic Inside

President Barack Obama took to the teevee to do what he does best, other than nailing mid range jump shots: nailing liberal Democrats and their terrible no-good liberal Democratic policies in order to defend his perfectly good reasoning for bending over striking a compromise with congressional Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts for […]

Obama White House Just Can't Decide Whether To Lay Down The Red Carpet Or Lay Themselves Down & Let Republicans Walk All Over Them Instead

It’s no secret that when Republicans even so much as threaten to utter the dreaded words Democrats and taxes in the same sentence, diminutive Donkeys from Dover to Denver run screaming for the hills because nothing is more terrifying than a bunch of wild-eyed, salivating, power-starved conservatives painting liberals as crazy spend ‘n tax madmen […]

What America Needs Now Is A Smug Quitter Like Evan Bayh Who Doesn't Know How To Say Bye-Bye Lecturing Democrats How To Become Rightwing Republicans

What America needs now, more than anything (jobs even!) is a smug, smarmy, sleazeball sellout like former Sen. Evan Bayh writing a guest op-ed in the elitist liberal rag, The New York Times to lecture his fellow Democrats about why they too must become a conservative party of far right wingnuts if they ever hope […]