Categories

Archives

NRA President David Keene Would Feel Much Safer If President Obama Would Shoot Off His Guns Instead Of His Mouth

David Keene, the unhinged leader of the National Rifle Association not named Wayne LaPierre, knows that guns don’t kill people, meany black presidents kill people.

Just listen to all the carnage President King Obama nearly caused Keene and his family by letting his loose lips, instead of high capacity clips, shoot wildly all over place.

Via Think […]

Like Any Top Predator, Rep. Virginia Foxx Will Aggressively Defend Her Turf, Including ‘Members Only’ Elevators From Invading Junior Staffers

All The Bitches In The Room Put Your Hand Up!

Old pasty white Representative of North Carolina Virginia Foxx (R-Cranky) may have the last name of an omnivorous mammal belonging to the Canidae family, but her personality is more like a starved, tortured dog belonging to the Vick family.

Ruff!

Just look what happened when some […]

The Spy Who Shagged Me: General Petraeus Taken Out By Bizarre Love Triangle Not Bullets

Another day, another hot steamy CIA sexytime affair threatening to bring down more and more of the military’s brightest minds and busiest loins with each passing, sexually harassing, medal-and-misogynist-filled moment.

By now, I’m sure you all know about David Petraeus, the retired four-star general and (now former) director of the CIA, who made the terrible mistake […]

Rage Against The Machine Rages Against The Machine That Is Paul Ryan

When not condemning the poor and old to a life of never-ending misery, baggy-clothed fitness buff and fiscal sociopath Paul Ryan (R-P90x) is learning the hard way the perils of being an insufferable hypocrite, a walking contradiction, The Man.

Turns out not everyone appreciates Republican VP candidate Paul Ryan’s taste in music, namely Tom Morello, lead […]

Mitt Romney Is Too Busy Horsing Around To Bother With The Whole "Tax Return" Thing

Poor, misunderstood, possibly criminal Mittens! He and his dancing horse have hit a bit of a rough patch, and all the hoof-clicking and fancy four-legged prancing in the world (of horse ballet) may not be enough to keep this Mormon Stallion perched comfortably atop his High Horse.

Because, you see, Willard “Mitt” Romney may […]

Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Couldn't Possibly Be A Lesbian Because She's Not Ugly, Single, Or Dressed In Cargo Pants & Flannel

It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered.

No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!).

Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […]

Obama May Not Make The Ballot In Arizona Because Arizona Doesn't Need A Reason To Be The Dumb, Racist, Backwater Hellhole Everyone Is Embarrassed Of

“I See Brown People!”

Bored with their usual antics of deporting frightened Mexican and Mexican-ish looking people and denying ladies sluts access to baby murdering apparatus birth control (yawn!), the fine citizens of Aryanzona have turned their short, sun-scorched attention to another pressing matter: the true birth origins of a certain illegal Socialist, half-black, […]

Minnesota GOP Is So Fiscally Conservative, They've Decided To Stop The Whole "Paying Rent" Thing & Join The Rest Of America By Getting Evicted Instead!

If there’s one thing the Republican Party is good at, it is talking about how good they are at all things money-related, more specifically, taking your hard-earned money and spending it on worthwhile things like strippers and smart bombs, not wasteful things like say,  poor people or a year’s worth of rent for their Party […]

No Way José! Crazed, Right-Wing, Immigrant-Hating Arizona Sheriff Is Almost As Good At Screwing Over Mexicans As He Is At Screwing Them

When you think of crazed, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriffs, normally the first thing that comes to mind is a crazed, gay, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriff who hates his own hideous homo self even more than the terrible Mexicans he’s always shrieking about, that he actually tries to deport his gay Mexican lover for the terrible […]

Separation Of Crotch & State: Mississippi Mayor Greg Davis Learns The Hard Way Why City Credit Cards & Gay Sex Shops Don't Mix

Finally, a Christmas story we can all get behind!

It’s been awhile since one of America’s fabulous, self-loathing, Republican closet cases accidentally outed himself by getting caught in some secret gay sexytime scandal (we’re talking months here!), until a dandy Southern gent/failed Congressional candidate/wingnut mayor of Southaven, Mississippi by the name of Greg Davis forgot about […]