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America Loses, Republicans Rejoice!


Woohoo!! Rio is in, Chicago is out. Ha ha suck it NObama! The President of America can’t even bring the biggest sporting event on Earth to his hometown of Nairobi Chicago, and as a result of this failure, no make that his failure, the spoils that should rightfully be OURS go to that other America instead. Thanks for nothing Barry!

Except if you’re a Republican. Cause then the ever-so important International Olympic Committee cold eliminating Chicago in the first round of its selection process is the BEST THING to happen since old man McCain discovered saved that Palin woman from a miserable life snowmobiling and skinning wolf hides in the frozen Arctic tundra of Alaska (with no $7 million dollar book deals to speak of). Gasp!

Don’t you get it people? This is huge! If Obama failed to get the Olympics, that must mean there’s a chance, EVERYTHING he does will fail. Yay! Health Care, Stimulus, Economy, Employment, Nuclear Disarmament, Environment, Afghanistan, Energy–FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, FAIL!!!

GOP-WIN!

Because isn’t that what’s really important here people?

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