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Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

Mitt Romney Wins The Gold In The Olympic Sport Of Insulting Entire Kingdoms

With Willard “Mittens” Romney having trouble connecting to the riff-raff and vagabonds not retroactively raking in nine-figure salaries here in America, his advisors figured why not let ol’ Mitt try his perfectly manicured, white-gloved hand with the fine blokes across the pond, in the one and only land of Mary Poppins and mincemeat, wee Londontowne.

Naturally, […]

What The Cluck, Huck? Mike Huckabee Gets Behind Chick-Fil-A's Anti-Gay CEO (But Not In A Gay Way)

If there’s one person who appreciates a fast food company that sticks to their butter-slathered buns when it comes to discrimination, it is former/current fat person Mike Huckabee.

It’s not just the delectably breaded, pickle-topped, fried chicken(ish) sandwiches or those deliciously greasy, salty waffle fries that’s got Huckabee Huckahooked, but the delectably batsh*t, homophobic ramblings of […]

A Dark Knut Rises In Colorado

Somewhere in America, a real flesh-based human being rolled out of bed, and decided today would be a good day to send out the following tweet:

Elsewhere in America, specifically, a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, a deranged 24-year-old dressed in all black wearing a riot helmet, face mask, and bullet-proof vest burst into the midnight […]

Mitt Romney Is Too Busy Horsing Around To Bother With The Whole "Tax Return" Thing

Poor, misunderstood, possibly criminal Mittens! He and his dancing horse have hit a bit of a rough patch, and all the hoof-clicking and fancy four-legged prancing in the world (of horse ballet) may not be enough to keep this Mormon Stallion perched comfortably atop his High Horse.

Because, you see, Willard “Mitt” Romney may […]

Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Couldn't Possibly Be A Lesbian Because She's Not Ugly, Single, Or Dressed In Cargo Pants & Flannel

It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered.

No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!).

Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […]

Rick Perry Denies Medical Coverage For Millions Of Texans, Bringing New Meaning To The Words "Texas Toast"

Coyote-and-criminal-killing governor of drunken idiocy Texas, Rick Perry, is not about to stand back and watch while his fellow wingnut governors from equally awful, deadbeat states steal all his thunder by rejecting the big, bad gubmint’s evil plans to expand Medicaid and help insure millions of Texans without access to medical coverage.

Aww, hell no! You […]

New York State Sen. Marty Golden Knows What Women Want Is To Turn The Clock Back 50 Years

Well, well, just who is this dapper old man who can melt a lady’s heart with a wink of an eye and confident flash of his pearly whites?

Why, none other than distinguished Republican New York State Senator Marty Golden, a real swingin’ Daddy-O, congressional cool cat who knows just what them broads need to get […]

The Only Time Chris Christie Chews Something Up & Spits It Back Out Is When It's A Reporter

Well, well, looks like someone forgot to eat their post-breakfast, pre-lunch meal today. And we all know what happens when double-named New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches Chris Christie doesn’t get his double stack of buttered hotcakes with a side of sausage links and home fries.

He goes from bully governor to abusive stepdad faster than […]

Supreme Court Gives ObamaCare Life While Wingnuts Mourn America's Death & Threaten To Bring Their Idiocy To Canada

America? Are you still there? Or have your majestic, blue bald eagle tears turned COMMIE RED, and your beautiful, once gold-paved streets turned into the bleak, dusty ruble-lined hellscape of SOVIET RUSSIA, now that the Supreme Court has done the unthinkable and upheld Obama’s communist socialist maoist Kenyan anti-colonial health care plan to bring America […]