Categories

Archives

Rand Paul's Headstomping Supporter Demands Apology For Some Scary Activist Lady's Head Falling Under His Innocent Shoe

Oh no-zees! Another day, another weird, disturbing scandal involving some new Teabagging nutjob or another using disproportionate force to stomp on activist ladies’ heads, illegally arrest no-good journalists who dare ask so much as a single question, or dabble in witchcraft to wipe out the sinful scourge of self-pleasure across this great […]

Republican Congressional Hopeful Sean Bielat Knows Short Is The New Gay, So Speak Softly & Carry A Big (Measuring) Stick!

Republican congressional candidate Sean Bielat believes in two simple truths: the power of his own digitally crafted campaign ads of Barney Frank gay dancing across Massachusetts propelling him to certain election victory over that no-good, tax-lovin’ liberal queer with a lisp, and his uncanny ability to apply simple logic to solve complex problems facing the […]

Fox News Sued For Being Terrible, Racist Propaganda Peddlers, aka Fox News

Fox News is a place where angry white men, unstable, born again recovering alcoholic/drug addicts turned gold hawking Mormon Messiahs, and washed up, bitter, fake blonde ex-Hooters waitresses go to make a quick buck blurting out whatever terrible, racist stuff about blacks, Arabs, Muslims, Mexicans, gays, women, Jews, gross poor people, that […]

The Supremely Sordid Tale Of Justice Clarence Thomas, His Crazy Wife Ginni, & A 7 A.M. Phone Call No One In Their Right Mind Should Ever Make

Ooooh, A Supreme Love Triangle!

Hmmm, a word of advice to anyone whose spouse has been accused of sexual harassment, whether it is during their very contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearing or not: do not, I repeat, do not call the accuser out of the blue at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning politely asking for […]

Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Will You Help Me Grow Some Balls & Fulfill My Promise Of Equality For All?

Look you gays, err guys, the Obama administration like totally wants to abolish that terrible, shameful, discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, 100% for sure without a doubt. They are like totes behind you on that one!

But, here’s the thing. They are very particular when it comes to actually putting this horrible […]

Christine O'Donnell's Lack Of Knowledge On Anything Besides Masturbation & Meatballs Raises Questions About Her Ability To Function At All, Let Alone As Delaware's Actual Senator

Much like her past experience dabbling in witchcraft, crusading against the sin of self-pleasure, and pallin’ around with Ronald McDonald ‘n friends, Christine O’Donnell remained true to form while debating Democratic rival, and exasperated, smart guy foil, Chris Coons in their native Delaware, talking ’bout the need to teach creationism in school so America’s children […]

America's First Daughter Bristol Teaches Us All Valuable Lessons About Evolution & How To Simulate Sex And Still Not Win A Dance Show

The country’s, no make that the world’s best Mother, Sarah Palin of the Snowy North, took a break from her grueling schedule updating very important status messages on her favoritest Facebook to give an interview to some lamestream media outlet, Zap2it, or something, to let the whole world know how proud she is of her […]

Joe Miller Loves Freedom So Much, He'll Take Away Yours Just For Asking Too Many Meany Questions

If you are a no-good, arugula-eating, non-mammal killing journylist in the Great State of Alaska and maybe wanna ask the actual Republican running for U.S. Senate, Joe ‘Grizzly Beard’ Miller, a question or two after a town hall meeting at an Anchorage middle school, consider yourself forewarned, my friend!

“We’ve drawn a line in the […]

Too Bad For Christine O'Donnell (But Good For The Rest Of Us!) The Wicked Witch Of Delaware Couldn't Cast A Spell Making Her Own Dumb, Idiot Self Disappear



Christine O’Donnell is not a witch (maybe). She’s you! If you too happen to be an unstable, crazy D-list airhead who, instead of masturbating like some deviant whore, spends your ample spare time blurting out as many outrageously dumb, offensive things to piss off as many A, B & C-list celebrities as is humanly wiccanly […]

Sarah Palin's Alaska: All The Flippin' Fun & Freedom You Could Cram Into 663,268 Sq. Miles Of Frozen Arctic Nothingness

“This is flippin’ fun! I’d rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office. I’d rather be out here bein’ free!” — Sarah Palin, Mother Of All Grizzlies Everywhere

Hear that America? Sarah Louise Barracuda Mama Grizzly Palin has big plans, BIG PLANS, to soon become President Empress of God’s America, because, well, […]