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Comrades Barry & Medvedev Share Burgers 'N Fries, While Russia Orders A Side Of Secret Soviet Spies

Ooooooh, spies! And not just any old spies but real, live scary-sexy RUSSIAN SPIES right here in the American-as-apple-pie posh neighborhoods of the elitist, arugula-eating Northeast.

Soviet comrades turned latte-sippin’ professional yuppies in American suburbia. Welcome to the new Desperate Housewives of New York, New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts, Ruski Spy Edition!

An F.B.I. investigation that began […]

Woohoo! Steve Forbes And Rich America Rejoice Over The Death Of Robert Byrd & Hopefully Finance Reform Too!

Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” Forbes, Jr, aka Steve Forbes, the snooty, silver-spoon fed son of inherited wealth and former Republican Presidential candidate no one remembers (pssst: he wasn’t that good!) is once again in the spotlight for being ummm, well, the petty, pampered heir of the famed Forbes publishing empire, and mouthpiece for all of Mega-Rich […]

The Beat Goes On: The Still Pumping (Though Still Not Feeling) “Heart” Of Deadeye Dick

There may be ten (declassified?) ways America’s former Vice President of Doom Darth Vader Dick Cheney can kill you, and likely rip your-still beating heart right out of your chest, but oddly enough, there only seems to be one way to kill him, err at least try. But, much like his eight-year reign of hell, […]

Foot, Meet Mouth: Six Reasons Why The GOP Doesn’t Need Deep Sea Oil Rigs To Spew Toxic Goo From Gaping Holes

If you thought BP was the only one spillin’ baby spillin’ toxic oily goo uncontrollably out of big, leaking holes, think again my friends!

Never underestimate the Grand Oil Puppets’ uncanny ability to take a national disaster of epic proportions, and use the tragedy for their own personal and political gain by saying something even more […]

Bristol Palin Is Taking A Break From Her Abstinence Crusade To Be The Yo-Yo Ma Of Bad After-School Specials

Like OMG! Did you hear the amazing, Twitterific news about America’s favoritest knocked-up, unwed teenage hero and world-famous abstinence crusader, the voice of an entire generation (no, no not Kanye!), Bristol Palin??

Turns out, the famous daughter of Alaskan legend $arah Palin was soooooooo successful in her very important public service announcement warning horny, young teens […]

Like Crude Oil On Marine Mammals, Rep. Joe Barton Sticks To The Sage Words Of Rep. Joe Barton

When Joe Barton felt the sweet, seductive allure of those fifteen minutes of hot, sexy oil-soaked fame, he just couldn’t resist! It felt soooooo good finally getting the attention for once, and having people listen to him instead of that orange Boehner for a change. Now, there’s a change Joe can certainly believe in!

You know […]

Gen. Stanley McChrystal Turns On The Real Enemies: The Lame, Non-War Loving Wimps In The White House

Oh no-zees! Did you hear the wild, earth-shattering news broken by that liberal elitist rag for hippie-dippie stoners and druggie rockstars, Rolling Stone?

No, no not what Lady Gaga wasn’t wearing under her latest hideous ensemble that fashion experts are calling some sort of “dress.”

The one about that psychotic commanding officer of all U.S. troops in Afghanistan, […]

Hilarious Future GOP President Mike Huckabee Never Met A Jew, Gay Joke, Or Heaping Plate Of Anything He Didn’t Like!

Born again non-morbidly obese person Mike Huckabee has taken a hiatus from his previous job scarfing down double bacon cheeseburgers as the 400 lbs+ ex-Governor of Arkansas, to sit down with one of the hoity-toity, arugula-eating elitist magazines he’s always shrieking ’bout at his current gig spewing nonsense for Fox News, to discuss some […]

Hillary Clinton Finally Gets The Hang Of Blowing Things...Like State Secrets On Ecuadorian TV!

Apparently, Hillary Clinton has learned the importance of blowing things every once in a while, because 12 years after a little reminder in the form of an eager, young intern named Monica, Hillrod has finally succumbed to the pressure and opened that nice mouth, big and wide.

Yes, Hilly blew it big time!

Turns out the usually […]

Only Mark Kirk Is Man Enough (And Straight Enough!) To Lie About Being A Nursery School Teacher

Pop quiz: What kind of man lies about receiving distinguished military awards, his own sexuality (straight as boomerang!), and just for sh*ts and giggles, being a nursery school teacher, way back when he was just a wee college student in New York?

Give up? Why, it’s none other than (closeted) Illinois Republican Senate hopeful, Mark Kirk, […]