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Barackalypse Now: Teabaggers Lose Their Minds, While The Rest Of Us Get Health Care!

While our evil commander in chief rolls through DC with his tyrannical posse of limo-ridin’ hookers, hos, and enough health care votes to go around en route to his victory party tonight, the really BIG news was that a couple hundred anti-Semites, homophobes, Neo-Nazis, and straight up Jim Crow lovin’ […]

It Wouldn't Be A Health Care Debate Without A GOP Congressman Tossing Civil War Threats Around

Nevermind the millions of struggling Americans whose lives depend on the health care bill passing, the best part of this bill–and there are SO MANY good parts to choose from–is all the casual talk of violence and chaos that will be incited by confused, not-so-bright teabaggers all all across the mighty U.S. of A.

Surely, such […]

Holy Duo Glenn Beck & Steve King Know Health Care Vote On Sacred Sunday Means A Beautiful Angel Will Die

Rep. Steve King Doin’ God’s Work Per Usual

With the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) dropping the ATOMIC BOMB that the DEMONcrats’ evil health care reform bill will reduce the deficit by $130 billion over the next ten years ($1.2 trillion over 20 years), and extend coverage to 32 million currently uninsured Americans, the dominoes […]

Teabaggers Know Obama 'Bin' Pretendin' To Be American 'Agin'!

You may think Teabaggers are nothing more than ignorant, gun-crazed Grand KKK Wizards with nothing better to do than intimidate old people at peaceful health care town hall debates, and pretend to go into cardiac arrest outside of Senate offices because they love freedom but hate black presidents who try to give them more health […]

Rielle Goes Huntin’ For Respect, Sans Pants, Amid Stuffed Kermit And Barney Dolls

Wholesome, American-as-apple-pie, love bunnies Johnny Edwards and Rielle Hunter’s fairy tale romance of dull, cancer-stricken wives, reckless infidelity, unchecked hubris, mass delusions, unbridled lust, wild, sex-filled romps, and one surprise li’l bundle of joy by the name of Quinn is now available for your voyeuristic pleasure, courtesy of Rielle Hunter’s classy yet sexy new interview […]

Texas, The Political, Educational, And Cultural Disaster That Keeps On Giving…

How do I love thee, Texas? Let me count the ways.When you’re not threatening secession, executing retarded people, corralling dirty Mexicans, or blessing the rest of the nation with gifted political minds like George W. Bush, Phil Gramm, Tom DeLay, and slick Rick Perry, you continue to surprise and thrill us in […]

The Dirty Dozen: Bart Stupak’s Life-Loving Dreams Murdered By Life-Hating Democrats

Democratic hell Representative and fearless defender of unborn fetuses in fertile wombs across America, Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) is suddenly feeling even smaller than the li’l bundles of prenatal joy he tries his very hardest to protect.

After playing a starring role in aborting the Democrats’ health care bill over federal funding of the societal cancer […]

Selfish Loser Obama Gives Nobel Prize Money To Silly Charity Cases Like Kids And Women

First, lame-o, ne’r-do-well President Barack Hussein Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing except parade his cute li’l behind across the globe, and now, instead of buying a new wardrobe for Michelle and the gals, and iPads for every terrible community organizer residing in his evil hometown of Chicago, this genius is donating […]

Hail To The Chief? The Supreme Power Of Those In Power

Supreme Court Chief Justice Jagoff, John Roberts and his famously understated, chic, side-sweep hairdo are very upset!

And not just cause ol’ blue eyes misses his favoritest mentor and surrogate pop George W. Bush, who handpicked him of all the lawyers in the land to become the new, non-ancient, unqualified, straight-shootin’ son of a right-wing gun […]

Perhaps This Is The Incentive The Dems Needed To Pass Health Care?

Robust, picturesque vision of health and tolerance, Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, may have dropped out of college after two semesters and one summer, but this high school graduate doesn’t need fancy degrees to know that “human beings will die earlier than normal” under President Obama’s “freedom killing, life threatening” health care reform plan, which, much […]