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So, Sarah Palin’s latest foray into the presidency as the popular, new Fox News airhead anchor got off to its usual painfully awkward start when the lovely lady from Wasilla was shockingly unable to answer a single question that requires more than a simple yes or no answer. Like when Glenn Beck asks her to name […] With Jerry Falwell’s old bones resting comfortably in eternal hellfire, the world looks to that other, still-living fundamental Christian lunatic for peace and comfort during these trying times. Naturally, Pat Robertson was there to lead the way, much like he does whenever a massive natural disaster ravages the Earth, killing or injuring hundreds of thousands of […] Ay, New Jersey, you make us so proud (not the queer kind obvs!). It’s always nice to see the land that originated electric-beach bronzed men with greasy hair and muscles bulging from skin-tight wife-beaters is keeping its priorities “straight.” Priorities like keeping those pesky hetero wannabees away from the alter and the sweet ganja a comin’ […] If ya can’t beat em, join ’em Sarah Palin, who decided to up and leave her cozy, bear skin seat in Alaska’s Governor’s Mansion in order to bash the evil media 24/7 on Facebook, has now opted to throw in the towel on the social networking scene to join the dark side (along with the rest […] Former Bush White House Official (Not Named Dick Cheney) Charged With Attempted Murder of Wife, SelfFormer Bush administration Deputy Counsel (and all around swell guy) John Michael Farren has left his wild days as the go-to guy for all legal issues concerning President George W. Bush and the White House in order to spend some quality time trying to kill himself and his lovely wife Mary at their upscale suburban […] Waaaasup peeps, it’s big pimpin’, off-the-hook chairman Michael Steele rolling all large and phat with his boyz in the Republican National Committee like the badass mofo that he is. Only problem is, thanks to the big spendin’ ways of Mr. Balls of Steele, the RNC is almost as broke as the rest of those pathetic weasels […] Oh Minnesota, how we adore thee. From your fertile land and bountiful lakes has sprung some of the most wondrous and sane civil servants this fair country ever been blessed with. Humble servants of the Lord like Rep. Michele “slit your wrists for freedom” Bachmann and God willing, (we’re lookin’ at you Jesus), Allen Quist, […] |
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