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Punking the White House: America’s New Pastime

Much like Parents of the Year Mayumi and Richard Heene, fellow oddly-named scumbags Michaele and Tareq Salahi know the quickest way to strike it rich in America involves doing something tacky and quasi-illegal, and then getting the elitist media to cover it endlessly, and turn a handsome profit in no time at all!

It’s the American […]

Birds, Birdbrains, and Barack: Presidential Turkey Pardons Through The Ages

Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday when the leader of this fair country was a brave cowboy named George W. Bush, every day was filled with sunshine and rainbows, and there was nary a care in the world?

Ah yes, those lazy days when America was blessed with the maverick stylings of a certain Wasilla wonder […]

Dana Perino’s Just Thankful Facts And Sanity Don’t Matter To Fox News

Dim-witted golden-haired starlet Dana Perino was apparently too busy dusting Ronnie Reagan figurines in the White House attic to remember a certain Tuesday in September, 2001 when some real meanie terrorists decided to crash two planes into the twin towers, killing some 3,000 people, sending the nation into panic, and forever altering the course of […]

Fox News Gets Serious About Being Stupid

As the sole beacon of light and truth in today’s dreadful world of health care reform death squads and due process of the law for terrorists, Fox prides itself on bringing fair and balanced news to all the people who make up the bestest, most awesomest nation on God’s green Earth, America.

The good folks of […]

Double The Pleasure, Double The Fun, Double The Sarah!?!

Attack of the Clones!

What’s the only thing scarier than Sarah Palin? Why, its two Sarah Palins, of course!

But before you start panicking at the sheer thought of not one but two insane Alaskan mavericks Goin’ Rogue all over the Lower 48, stay calm, take a deep breath (or ten), and relax for a second, […]

The Two L Belles Grudingly Allow Health Care To Reach Debate Before Destroying It

Looking For A Few Good Women

Phew! Just when it looked like those rascally Blue Dogs would crush the whole health care reform debate before it even started, the Southern Bobbsey Twins, Sens. Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) and Mary Landrieu (D-LA), figured why the hell not call their own bluff and let the Senate debate the one […]

On The Sixth Day HE Created Sarah…And On The Seventh, She Went Rogue

Like a beautiful snowflake, Sarah Palin has drifted into our lives, a glistening hexagonal prism of symmetry and ice sent from the Lord to fill our world with wonder and wisdom.

Like Sarah, each precious star-shaped ice and crystal blend, having formed in the high clouds of the atmosphere before floating down as the frozen water […]

Lou Dobbs & Bill O’Reilly Have Serious Policy Discussion On Whether Obama Is Indeed Satan

Slovenly, Mexican-hunting former CNN resident curmudgeon, Lou Dobbs went on Bill O’ Reilly’s fair and balanced show to assure the nervous public not to worry because ol’ Lou ain’t going nowhere. In fact, it’s time to get excited people, because Lou’s gonna be everywhere!

He and the ol’ wifey have […]

Trying 9/11 Terrorists In NY? Eh. Rudy’s Just Glad To See We’re At "War" Again

Hahahahahaha, Republicans are funny! You just never know what they’ll come up with next!

Which is what makes Attorney General Eric Holder’s opening remarks to the Senate Judiciary Committee about the administration’s decision to bring terror suspects, including 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to trial in New York so exciting! No one knows what crazy response […]

John Shadegg Knows We Should Never Surrender To Terrorists By Surrendering To Terrorists

Adorably unstable Arizona Rep. John Shadegg–whose awesome argument against health care reform was to drag infant baby “Maddie” onto the House floor to “explain” (in a deep man’s voice) why she no likey Obama’s doomsday health care plan to insure all Americans and offer free abortions for all the other babies not lucky enough to […]