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Will Sarah Palin Quit On Asia Too?

Guess who’s going to Asia? That’s right! America’s cuddly ice bunny from the Snowy North is heading to the Far East–to Hong Kong (of all places)–to serve the people!

Luckily, Sarah got her passport just in time to make the journey to the magical continent of Asia where she will say smart and funny things to […]

Robert McDonnell Loves Jesus (Except When He Has An Election To Win)

Once upon a time there was a man named Robert F. “Bob” McDonnell who had hopes and dreams of leaving behind that boring state Attorney General job for a nice cushy gig as the shining new Republican governor of Virginia come this November’s elections.

All he has to do is once again take care of that […]

Bush The Elder Just Says No To Kennedy’s Boring Funeral

George H.W. Bush, the spry 85-year old oil baron father of freedom-fighting cowboy Dubya, may have enough youthful energy to skydive out of plane some 20,000 ft in the sky each year on his birthday, but apparently does not have the stamina to attend Sen. Ted Kennedy’s funeral, even though every other living president will […]

How The Hell Did Mike Huckabee Not Win Past Iowa?

Former double bacon cheeseburger loving Arkansas governor and messenger of God Mike Huckabee knows a few things about logic and good taste. (Especially the latter, because, trust me, you don’t get to be 300 lbs without it).

Which is why it comes as a total shock that he would defy both of them on his radio […]

Why Are America’s Event Planners All Out To Get Sarah Palin?

Where in the world is Sarah Barracuda Palin? Alaska’s sultry superstar has once again mysteriously disappeared right before she was scheduled to speak at one of her very important fundraisers, this one so slutty teenagers who get knocked up have no choice but to have the baby unless they want to get the ol’ parental […]

Cheney To Obama: You Don’t Know Dick About National Security

Cheerful cuddlebug Dick Cheney is always down to help clear things up and set the record straight especially when it comes to matters of national security. It’s his bread and butter!

It’s not easy being the lone voice of reason and truth, but hey, someone’s got to do it.

Which is why we’ve come to depend on […]

Liberal Lion Ted Kennedy Roars No More

Oh no! Ted “Edward” Kennedy, longtime liberal lion of the Senate and relative of all the assorted other famous Kennedys, has finally succumbed to a combination of old age and brain cancer.

Which is really sad, though with the whole health care debate raging, it must be said the man could not have picked a more […]

No-Drama Obama’s Rules To Live By…

For a guy who has to deal with getting called Hitler, a Nazi, a secret Muslim terrorist, an illegal alien from Kenya, and a socialist demonchild on a regular basis, Barack Obama is as cool as they come. If 1,000 insane Birthers shrieking against Barry’s evil plot to kill Grandma isn’t enough to rattle Barry, […]

The Spy Who Knew Too Little: The Rise (And Fall?) Of Leon Panetta

Oh no, is there trouble in Barryland? Perhaps, if you consider the Obama administration’s decision to begin a criminal probe of alleged CIA abuses during the Bush administration, minutes after the release of a newly declassified CIA document describing how interrogators threatened to do all kinds of crazy things to detainees, like kill the children […]

John McCain In Race Against Obama’s Evil Plug-Pulling Death Squads

Poor Gramps McCain. He can’t do anything right! Just when he finally understands the whole health care reform debate enough to discuss it publicly without sounding like a walking advertisement for Alzheimer’s research who’ll likely be dead by the time it passes anyway, that rascal Barack Obama swoops in and snatches away his thunder yet […]