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Bush Comes Out Of The Closet In Search Of Some Respect

Hehe, Y’all Miss Me?

Bored with life alone with Laura, Barney, and Miss Beazley in some hoity-toity Dallas suburb instead of at his Crawford Ranch where he really wanted to be, George W. Bush has decided to come out of his publicly-imposed exile and re-enter into the society he destroyed to join his old pal Dick […]

White House Comedy Hour With Robert Gibbs

Prompter, Prompter On The Wall, Who’s The Funniest One Of All?

Being press secretary is a real hoot. Unlike those Bush duds before him like Dana Perino (she was pretty though) and Scott McClennan (eh not so much), Obama’s White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs is a regular laugh riot. He may look shlubby and dull, […]

The GOP’s Suicide Mission Does Not Include Colin Powell

In case you didn’t get the memo, former Secretary of State Colin Powell is still a proud member of the Grand Old Party. But there are some people who just don’t think Mr. Powell is Republican enough.

Never mind his 20-year record voting solidly with Republican candidates or serving as the first African-American chairman of the […]

Obama Enlists Racist, Estrogen-Filled Mexican To Help Ruin America’s Fave Boy’s Club, The Supreme Court

The Three Musketeers

Here she is, ladies and gentleman: the newest activist justice on the Supreme Court, federal appeals judge Sonia Sotomayor! She is not only the third estrogen-filled woman, she is also the first Mexican ever to be nominated to the nation’s highest court. She also used to be a poor, has lots of […]

C’mon, Be A Mancow: Waterboarding Isn’t Torture!

Much like fellow right-wing toughguys Sean “Meathead” Hannity and Liz “Dick” Cheney, loudmouth Chicago radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller was so certain waterboarding was nothing more than a leisurely inner tube ride on a lazy river that he decided to give the fun aquatic process a go himself. That way he could finally prove to […]

This Dick Has Got Some Balls

After TKOing John McCain in November, President and defending lightweight champion Barack Obama faced off against another white-haired, even more decrepit opponent on Thursday: Dark Lord of the Underworld Dick Cheney.

In the greatest national security showdown since Nancy Pelosi accused the CIA of acting all spy-like by deceiving the public about the non-torture techniques used […]

Congress Declares War On Credit Card Companies And Peaceful Nature Lovers

President Obama and the Democratic demonchildren in Congress finally stuck it to the big, bad credit card companies, passing sweeping reforms aimed at reducing the number of ways credit card companies can screw with unsuspecting consumers like you and me.

The new measure adds protections for debt-stricken credit card users, and does away with hidden charges, […]

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Don’t Let The Sunglasses Fool You, Meghan Packs The Heat

Meghan McCain loves guns. Not only do they make her feel like a whole lotta woman, they’re also just perfect for relieving all the stress that comes with getting paid to blog about nonsense for a living. Nonsense and sex.

You see Meghan McCain is more […]

What Do Republicans And Dinosaurs Have In Common?

The Three Stooges

It’s tough to be a Republican these days. Seems like no one is down with the Grand Old Party, ever since that W guy peaced out of the White House and into the Witness Protection Program in Dallas. Not even superstars like Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, and Michael “Hip-Hop” Steele are enough […]

Signs Of The Apocalypse? No, Just Dick Cheney’s 2012 Presidential Hopes

Am I having night terrors or is Dick Cheney gearing up for a presidential run in 2012?

I know it sounds crazy. I mean the guy’s not exactly Mr. Popular, let alone human, and yet there’s just something about this guy that people find irresistible. So irresistible in fact, that no matter how hard we try […]