January « 2009 « Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Sorry, Caroline, Seat’s Taken!

And The Winner Is…Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand!

Here she is my friends, the new junior senator from New York you’ve never heard of: Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand, at your service.NY Gov. David Paterson‘s not-at-all controversial pick to replace the unfillable void left by dear Hillary’s departure for her consolation prize running the State Department.

Clearly, Miss Gillibrand was […]

White House Version 2.0

For the tech geeks in Obama’s campaign, accustomed to modern 21st century conveniences like iPhones, the google, and high-speed Internets, yesterday’s move into the White House was more like a time-warp back to the technological dark ages of Netscape and Oregon Trail.

So, what’s it like living in a place where no cellphones, outside e-mails, IM, […]

Let’s Try This Again…

Mulligan?

Since we all know what happened the first time Supreme Court chief screw-up John Roberts tried to swear in Comrade Barry, White House counsel Greg Craig decided to try again, hoping this time the nation’s esteemed head Justice could actually recite the oath of office without turning it into a jumbled mess of unconstitutional nonsense.

Although […]

Barry’s First Day Anything But Business As Usual

Mr. Squeaky clean Barack Obama isn’t wasting any time trying to put the gleam back on the grime-filled White House floors. Apparently, eight years of dirty politics leaves quite a hard-to-scrub film.

So, on his first day as president, Obama rolled up his sleeves and announced his decision to freeze the salaries of aides making $100,000 […]

Havin’ A Ball!

Happy Feet: The First Couple Kick Things Off

It’s been quite a day.

Barack Hussein Obama was officially sworn-in as president to complete the nation’s seamless transition from international disgrace to world pride.

His excellency even managed to keep it cool when brilliant Bush-appointed Chief Justice John Roberts tried to sabotage his big moment by flubbing the oath […]

Time To Party Like It’s 2009!

Ah, Yes, A Sight For Sore Eyes

We’ve finally made it, my friends! Today is January 20th, the historic day Barack Obama is inaugurated president and America is saved.

That’s right. After today, no one will hate us anymore, the economy will suddenly surge to life (Obama memorabilia, anyone?), Iraq and Afghanistan will transform into flowering pillars […]

Making The Dream Reality

Thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream, President Barack Obama’s about to become our reality.

And in Mr. goody two-shoes Obama’s reality, honoring the birth of the great civil rights leader who sacrificed everything, including his life, to bring justice and equality to all Americans should mean more than not having to work or learn […]

The Wait Of The World

Yes, yes this is all very exciting.

Barack Obama’s about to become not just the first black guy to ever become president, but the first smart guy to become president in almost a decade. Eight years to be exact!

It would probably be even more exciting if the whore media didn’t earn its keep by trying to […]

Just Like Ma And Pa Taught Him!

Our Sentiments Exactly

Turns out Ponzi-scheming a**hole Bernard Madoff comes from a long line of dirtbags who’ve run afoul of the law. Take mother Sylvia and father Ralph, for instance.

These two shining gems of humanity did more than just produce our friend Bernard. They managed to rack up quite an impressive federal record themselves. Complete with […]

Johnny Mac Says Cindy’s Dancing Future Not In The Stars

Ugh, John McCain ruins everything!

First he ruined that lovely Sarah woman’s vice-presidential hopes. Now he’s ruining things for his number one lady love, socialite trophy-wife Cindy McCain, whose life-long dream is apparently to traipse around half-naked in a unitard before millions of Americans on the hit show “Dancing With The Stars.”Rumor has it that Cindy […]

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